MARTIN SLOANE | Supermarket Shopper Blackout provides topic for winner

What happens to shoppers when the lights go out in supermarket? It's an adventure in verse by Ree Witt of Livingston, Texas, who took the First Prize in the 23rd Annual Supermarket Shopper Poetry Competition.
Supermarket Blackout
A quick trip to the grocery store
While hubby rests post-op.
Specific items on my list
No time to really shop.
Going well, but what is this?
It's darker, quieter, too.
The power's out, I wonder why
Oh well, I'm almost through.
Workers fan out through the store
Ask shoppers to check out.
I push my cart up to the front,
Learn what it's all about.
"A car knocked down a power pole,
Therein the problem lies.
No registers or scanners, so
We'll have to improvise."
"We've locked the doors; no one comes in
Until the lights come on.
But with your help, we'll check you out
And you can head on home."
"Just give us your best estimate
Of what each item costs.
With hand-held calculators
We'll add up your total cost."
Oh, no, I thought, my shopper king
Is propped up, home, in bed.
Price-conscious shopping's not my strength
I wish I had his head.
It's my turn now; I'll do my best
To get it close to right.
Three-twenty-five or is it five?
Oh, this is such a fright!
I muddle through and pay the tab
They send me on my way.
But I've already planned what I'll
Be doing the very next day.
Yep -- heading back to that same store
Though hubby finds it funny.
But I really want to know
Did I save or cost him money?
With list and calculator in hand,
Down each aisle I sally.
Checking prices on my list
Now, what's my final tally?
Way off on some, on others close,
The suspense is really mounting.
I've marked the last one on my list,
And now begins the counting.
What's this? I double-check my math,
My "guesstimates" were great.
The actual total was more
By only One-oh-eight!
Is hubby proud of me? You bet!
But do we hold much hope
Of my becoming price-aware?
The answer (groan), is "Nope!"
Witt, a first-time poetry contest winner, wrote "Supermarket Blackout" last spring, months before the power blackout that swept across the Northeast. She says there were 20 items in her shopping cart when the lights went out at the Wal-Mart supercenter in Harlingen, Texas. She and her husband Carl, both young retirees, are full-time motor-homers who make their base with the Escapees RV Club in Livingston, 50 miles north of Houston, and travel around the country in a 34-foot American Star RV. Wherever they may be, Ree always buys a Sunday newspaper and clips the coupons.
Witt will receive the First Prize: $100 with my congratulations.
It is also my pleasure to recognize these deserving poets with honorable mentions. There were many poems about the problems involved in supermarket shopping. Carol Jordan's "Supermarket Blues" found humor in an elusive parking space:
Supermarket Blues
Oh, there's one -- I found it!
I speed toward the space
Only then do I notice
A stork marks the place.
The brainchild of whom?
And what is the reason?
Saving spaces for youth
Should be none short of treason!
Anyone who's been pregnant
Knows to the letter
You should walk all you can
The further, the better!
Seniors were well represented in the competition. Here are several lines from "Ode to a Senior's Survival," by Sandy Griswold of Greensburg, Pa.:
So clerks in the store, we seniors implore
You to think of us as able and fit.
We're still conscious and breathing,
Though not young and teething,
We don't sit home and just knit.
And, finally, there were many poems about saving money at the supermarket and playing the Great Grocery Game. Here are two stanzas from "Coupon Daiz" by Claudette Lowery of Lumberton, N.C.:
I clip stacks of coupons
To get a percentage off.
But while the clerk rings them up
I hear those behind me scoff.
It makes me so proud
When the clerk reads out loud
My savings for today.
While moaners' jaws drop
They've learned how to shop
Or at least a new way to pay!
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United Feature Syndicate