YOUNGSTOWN Service aims to give comfort to families of murder victims

The speaker said it is important to talk to others with similar experiences.
By JOHN W. GOODWIN JR.
VINDICATOR STAFF WRITER
YOUNGSTOWN -- Dozens of area residents came together Saturday in a praise service built on a foundation of pain over murdered loved ones.
The event, at First Presbyterian Church in downtown Youngstown, was sponsored by Comfort Ministries. Those in attendance were the families of area murder victims.
Songs of praise to God were sung with uplifted hands, but for many, tears accompanied the memories of their murdered family members. Roses with attached Bible verses were given to those in attendance, along with hugs and other offerings of comfort and support.
Lynn Phillips, founder of Comfort Ministries, said the program was scheduled to take place just before the holiday season because this time of year can be especially difficult for those who have lost children or other family members. She said having the support of others who have experienced similar tragedies can be a big help.
Headstones
Comfort Ministries also supplies headstones for those murdered whose families cannot afford them. To date, five headstones have been placed, and paperwork for two more is being processed.
Guest speaker Yvonne Pointer-Triplett is no stranger to the pain associated with losing a child to violent crime.
Pointer-Triplett's 14-year-old daughter, Gloria Pointer, left her Cleveland home in early December 1984 headed to school, but never made it. The teen was abducted, raped and murdered. Her murder has never been solved.
"People cared but I wanted more than sympathy. I wanted somebody to do something about it. You want your child to be able to leave home and come back again safe," she said. "A lot of people will say get over it and get on with your life, but they don't understand that there is no getting over it."
Pointer-Triplett told the audience that she and her daughter, two weeks before her daughter's murder, watched a woman on TV discuss the random murder of her son. That woman, she said, would eventually help her to understand the courage and faith needed to deal with her tragedy and eventually help others to do the same.
Works on prevention
Pointer-Triplett works to prevent crime, gives motivational lectures and offers a message of encouragement and healing across the country and beyond. She also tours prisons speaking to individuals who have committed rape and murder -- an ability that she says is acquired through a long process of healing.
According to Pointer-Triplett, those stages can take time, and everyone does not progress through them the same way. Many people may not be able to address those accused of crimes similar to that which took their loved one, she said,
Mother's story
Youngstown resident Birda Dawson is one of those people.
Dawson's son, Darnell Dawson, was murdered in February of 1993 by someone he thought was a friend. Ten years later, Dawson said she still cannot go into the prison system and address those accused of similar crimes. She said her strength instead comes from talking to other mothers of murder victims.
Dawson said that of her son's nine closest friends, six have been murdered.
William Kitchen, son of Youngstown resident and evangelist Crystal Williams, was murdered in February 1992. She said the first two weeks after his murder are almost a complete blank, but she has found comfort in talking to the convicted and accused as well as others who have lost their children.
Both Dawson and Williams agreed that a spiritual connection with God is fundamental in dealing with such loss.
Pointer-Triplett said that connection with and faith in God should be the starting point in the healing process. She said individuals should allow themselves time to heal and allow themselves room to grieve. She said support groups and talking to others with similar experiences are also beneficial.
Pointer-Triplett said she likes to speak about life whether she's speaking to the families of victims or in a prison auditorium. She said it is important for everyone to understand that every person who is dealing with such loss of a loved one is a survivor.
jgoodwin@vindy.com