KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox Mom would prefer the teacher kiss on the cheek

Dear Annie: My daughter, "Kira," is 4 years old and attends nursery school. She loves it, but there is one thing that bothers me.
Kira's teacher is very affectionate with the kids and sometimes kisses them -- on the lips. It's not just Kira. She does this with all the children. I cringe when it's time to leave and the teacher kisses her goodbye.
How can I tell this otherwise sweet woman that I would prefer she kiss Kira on the cheek instead? I don't want to offend her. She really is a great teacher, and Kira is quite fond of her. Squeamish in Connecticut
Dear Squeamish: We're talking about a peck on the lips, right? Some people are fine with that level of affection, and others are not. However, this is your daughter, and you get to determine the boundaries.
Simply tell the teacher that you are uncomfortable having Kira kiss anyone on the lips and would it be OK if she kissed your daughter on the cheek instead. Adding that Kira is quite fond of her and enjoys the class will soften the blow.
Dear Annie: I have been married to "Steven" for three years. He is 53, and this is his first marriage. I was widowed with two adult children when we met.
Steven and I have been having arguments about who pays for what. When we married, I sold my house and moved into his. We needed to do some major remodeling, so I gave Steven $12,000 from the sale of my house. He is adamant that the money is just a loan, but I feel this is my contribution to our new home.
While Steven insists on paying me back, he is keeping the house in his name. Also, he wants to charge me rent for using an empty bedroom as my art studio. Meanwhile, he says that all our belongings should be kept separate, and we are splitting household expenses right down the middle.
I'm not sure why we bothered to get married. We both have equal assets, income, retirement, and so on, and we both signed a pre-nup. I'd like to put everything in a joint account and use it to pay all household bills. Steven won't hear of it. I'm getting the impression that Steven doesn't trust me, and I don't know why.
We have been seeing a counselor who is trying to help us reach an agreement, but we have not made any headway. What's Yours is Yours, What's Mine is Yours
Dear What's Yours: Every couple has to work out the financial arrangements in a marriage, but Steven seems particularly skittish. After living on his own for so many years, he might be reluctant to mingle his money with yours, although the pre-nup should protect both of you. If the counselor hasn't helped after six months, try another counselor and get to the bottom of this. Something else is going on.
Dear Annie: How do I convince my Christian friends that as a Jew, I do not wish to observe Christmas in any way whatsoever? That means I do not want to receive Christmas cards.
I have every good wish for them to enjoy their holiday, but why do they insist on making it mine? Philadelphia
Dear Philly: No one is trying to make Christmas your holiday. This is simply the time of year when a lot of people send holiday cards to their friends, and you are on their list. Feel free to send them a Chanukah card in return. No offense taken.
During the holiday season, it can be overwhelming to be a non-Christian in a predominately Christian society. Instead of letting it ruffle you, consider it an opportunity to educate your friends and enlighten them about the many folks who do not celebrate Christmas, for whatever reason, and hope they will be more sensitive.
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