JOHN ROSEMOND | Parenting Weak discipline of children accomplishes nothing

Some time ago, I related the story of an encounter with the mother of a defiant 4-year-old girl. The child had refused to dress for school in the morning. The mother told her she'd take her to school dressed or undressed. The girl dressed.
I pointed out to the mother that getting dressed in the morning is not the problem; rather, it is the girl's defiance of her authority. The threat had not solved that problem. The mother wanted to know how I would have dealt with this problem.
First, I'd have done what Mom did: I'd have told the girl that I would take her to school dressed or undressed. Let's assume the result would have been the same. Then, when the child arrived home from school, I would have confined her to her room for the rest of the day and put her to bed immediately after supper.
Several readers complained about the column. In the words of one, my recommendation was "draconian." Along that same line, another said it was "completely, outrageously out of proportion to the little girl's offense." Another said that the problem was taken care of with the threat, that punishing the child after school was the equivalent of double jeopardy.
Justification
I'll deal with the first complaint first. What, pray tell, is "draconian" about confining a 4-year-old to a room I assume is nicer by far than the room to which I was occasionally confined as a child? Draconian would be confining the child to a closet, or a damp, dark basement crawl space. Confining her to her room is benign.
On the matter of my recommended punishment being out of proportion to the child's crime, I submit that the only punishment that fits a crime is one that stops the crime from happening. American parents have been fooling around with disciplinary matters for 30 years, waving fly-swatters at charging elephants.
This fooling around has produced a plethora of 4-year-olds who look their parents in the eyes and refuse to do what they are told; 4-year-olds who throw wild tantrums when they do not get their way; 4-year-olds who curse at their parents and hit them; 4-year-olds who tell their teachers to shut up.
This is the price we are all paying for having listened to psychological voices telling us that the traditional exercise of parental authority was bad for children and needed to go.
Sending this child to her room -- for what, six hours? -- will not harm her psychologically. Six hours will produce a lasting memory. Well, actually, it will begin to produce a memory. The old saying, "The third time is the charm," applies. Several applications should do the trick.
It should be obvious by now why so many of today's parents become so frustrated over disciplinary matters. To wit, they are using discipline that is too weak to accomplish anything; therefore, it is not discipline at all.
XJohn Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at Affirmative Parenting, 1020 East 86th Street, Suite 26B, Indianapolis, IN 46240 and at his Web site: www.rosemond.com/.