Gazing at stars from afar

Like most sports fans, I am tired of watching the media devote so much attention to NBA rookies like Luke Walton and Jason Kapono, while ignoring guys like LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony.
Something needed to be done. So, on Wednesday, I drove to Gund Arena, vowing to devote this space to James and the home opener.
The story begins at 6:14 p.m. in downtown Cleveland. I park in the $6 Tower City Lot to save my company a few bucks -- something I will immediately rectify by charging $7.50 for the media dinner.
6:38
Arrive in seat. You know those court-side tables where they put big-time reporters?
Well, if I borrow someone's binoculars, I can actually see those.
6:41
Pay $7.50 for dinner. Make sure to get receipt. Grab seat next to Channel 21 sportscaster Mike Case and cameraman John McClellan. Case asks me when he's going to appear in one of my columns. I ask if he wants to be in this one. "Yes ... wait, not if it's going to be mean."
Mean? Me?
7:21
Leave lounge to make sure I'm in my seat by tip-off.
7:27
Discover game does not start until 8. Realize I'm an idiot.
7:38
Woman with microphone implores crowd to cheer. No one does. We're informed that we're "weak with a capital 'W'". She then shows everyone how to use the "ThunderStixx" noisemakers. I decide I really don't like this woman.
7:59
Ricky Davis thanks the crowd for coming. The seats are pretty full, which is due in part to Cavs management doing away with last year's "Come to the game dressed as an empty blue seat" promotion.
8:02
Player introductions. LeBron is introduced second. Zydrunas Ilgauskas is last. This is like announcing Michael Jordan second and Jud Buechler last. Introductions include a drum line, the "Cavalier Girls" and the new mascot "Moon Dog." After some hard research, I discovered the Cavs' former mascot was "Whammer."
8:07
Anthony and James hug -- a touching moment that will be replayed 8,000 times on ESPN.
Sigh. I wish I had cable.
8:30
End of first quarter. Nuggets 27, Cavaliers 16. James has two points, three rebounds and two assists. "Moon Dog" leads everyone in exercises that are strikingly similar to the "YMCA" arm motions. (When I say "everyone," I mean the three people paying attention.) The Cavaliers then play "YMCA," which I'm sure no one saw coming.
8:50
A Cavaliers player other than Carlos Boozer moves without the ball on offense.
9:05
Halftime. Nuggets 46, Cavaliers 44. James has seven points, six rebounds and three assists. Several reporters try to interview Maurice Clarett, who is sitting court-side even though this is a school night.
9:53
End of third quarter. Nuggets 77, Cavaliers 64. James has seven points, eight rebounds and five assists. "Moon Dog" dunks a basketball with the help of a trampoline. This has such an uplifting effect on the Cavs that they go 31/2 minutes without scoring.
10:34
Game ends. Nuggets 93, Cavaliers 89. James has seven points, 11 rebounds and seven assists.
10:35
On way to interview room, I pass Cincinnati Reds baseball player Ken Griffey Jr. and rap star Jay-Z. Neither of them recognizes me.
The same thing happens minutes later with James and Anthony.
Blast. I knew I shouldn't have worn my glasses.
XJoe Scalzo is a sportswriter for The Vindicator. Write him at scalzo@vindy.com.