HEAD OF THE CLASS Making the grade

Graduating seniors know there will be big adjustments to college life.
By JoANN JONES
VINDICATOR CORRESPONDENT
IM BAILEY CHOKED BACK TEARSas she sang "Mamma A Rainbow" at her last high school concert. Besides being sentimental about singing for the last time, she said the song reminded her of her own mother.
"I feel like I've been taking advantage of her lately," said Bailey, a senior at Sebring McKinley high school and the youngest of four children. "She's been doing so much for me."
The closer it gets to graduation, the closer the graduates get to their parents, friends, teachers and even pets. The thoughts of separation and not being with them every day causes much anxiety for high school seniors.
At graduation time, parents do an awful lot for their children. They spend weeks and sometimes months preparing for graduation parties. Many shell out exorbitant amounts of money for proms, and some also buy extravagant graduation gifts.
But most just want their sons and daughters to "have the time of their lives."
Lusting for independence, most seniors start the school year saying, "I can't wait to get out of here." But that tune usually changes by about March.
"My feelings started to change when we ordered our graduation stuff," Bailey said, "and when we started talking about our parties."
"I'm going to miss my mom when I am sick in the dorm rooms or hungry for a good meal," said Julie Hoopes, a senior at Lakeview. "I'm also afraid of living so far from my parents in case something happens to me."
She has enrolled at Ohio State University to study international business and French.
Leaving friends behind
Hoopes said she and her friends also realize they will probably never again be as close as they are right now.
"My friends and I realize how far away we will be from each other and how we will meet new friends," Hoopes said.
"We will probably see each other over Christmas and summer break, but we realize that we will grow apart and keep in contact less and less."
Parents and friends aren't the only ones being left behind reluctantly. Hoopes said she'll miss her English teacher, Catherine Howard, "because she was always there when I needed someone to talk to or needed an opinion on a problem."
What Bailey fears the most is leaving her best friend, April Corbett, who is going to Otterbein College in Westerville to study communications.
"My mom had a best friend in high school she never sees, and my sisters are the same way," she said. "I guess family just becomes more important."
Both Bailey and Hoopes plan to use plenty of means of communication to stay in touch with their friends, family, and teachers: mail, e-mail, phone, and, of course, Instant Messenger.
Bailey, who took a long time to make the decision to live at home and commute to Kent State's Salem branch, said she'll go to Otterbein as often as possible to visit her friend.
Off to college?
Leaving for college for the first time can also be traumatic, especially if no friends are going to that same college. And sometimes, even if your best friend goes along, problems arise.
"As freshmen, my roommate from Ashland and I had the same feelings -- we were expecting more than we got," said Greg Potter of Sebring, who went to Ohio University last fall to study telecommunications.
"Our dorm was about 70 percent sophomores, and it was hard to meet people."
Potter and other freshmen suffer feelings of anxiety over making new friends, getting along with roommates, adjusting to the college level workloads, and learning to live independently of parents.
And just when they begin making new friends and start to adjust to being away from their families, a winter break comes along, and the student is right back where he or she started.
"I went home about three times between September and November," Potter said. "But at the end of that long break over Christmas, I began asking myself, 'Do I have to go back?'"
Many college freshmen choose to transfer or drop out of school after only one quarter or semester, leaving a roommate stranded and alone for rest of the year.
Dustin Tolson, a freshman at Kent State University, roomed with his best friend from high school during his first semester. At winter break, however, his friend decided to leave the main campus and commute to a branch for the rest of the year.
Tolson naturally had to adjust, not only to rooming alone but also to not being able to see his best friend every day.
Adjusting to living alone, reaching out to new friends, or keeping in touch with old ones takes special effort. But those things can be accomplished.
Making adjustments
Having made many new friends through his classes and telecommunications activities now, Potter is comfortable with returning to OU next fall.
He said he always has a friend to do something with, his grades are pretty good, and he's still kept in touch with his high school friends. Two of them will attend a concert with him at Gund Arena this month.
"It's so much easier for us to communicate," Potter said, "especially with Instant Messenger. I also got a cell phone this year, and that helps.
"And when I do come home less often," he added, "people are excited to see me. It's fun to go shopping and run into people."
Hoopes has some advice in learning to deal with the anxiety that comes with separation from family, friends and teachers: "Graduation is really just another phase of life we must go through. I think many of my friends worry about going to college and leaving the friends they've been with for 12 years, but we will be fine and meet new people."