ANNIE'S MAILBOX Husband doesn't want to support her mother

Dear Annie: My mother is in her early 60s and lives alone. Mom is overweight, has congestive heart failure, diabetes and other medical problems. She gets around well enough, but requires 15 different medications, all of which are very expensive. Fortunately, she has insurance because she is still employed.
I know there will be a point when Mom will no longer be able to work, which means her insurance will lapse. If need be, I am willing to help her out financially, as will my three siblings.
Here's the real problem: I am married, employed and pull my weight financially. However, my husband is not happy with the thought of supporting my mother. He thinks she should use up her savings and apply for government assistance. I have asked him if he would do the same for his mother if she were in need. His answer was, "That will never happen."
I am so angry about his attitude. This is my mother. I love her, and she will not always be here. How do I make my husband understand? Bloomfield, Mich.
Dear Bloomfield: Your husband is being selfish. Since you pull your own weight financially, you are entitled to win some economic arguments. Tell your husband you are sorry he disapproves, but this is your mother and you are going to see that she is taken care of. Period.
Dear Annie: You've printed a couple of letters about women with rotten housekeeping skills. My daughter and I have been having a disagreement about her housecleaning. I don't have a problem with a certain amount of clutter, but there comes a point where it is simply dirty. I think "Judy" has reached that point.
Judy is a single mother and has never been great with cleaning. However, I have noticed that she leaves food (chicken, cheeseburgers, and so on) sitting on the coffee table in her living room for three days or more. You can see the bacteria growing on it. I believe this is unhealthy.
So, tell me, Annie, when does a cluttered house become a dirty one? Kansas
Dear Kansas: Three-day-old food with bacteria growing on it would fall under the category of "dirty" as far as we're concerned. If your daughter will listen to you, suggest she get rid of that stuff for her child's sake. Otherwise, unless you are willing to call the Board of Health, say nothing.
Dear Annie: I read the column of responses you printed about mail-order brides. I was more than a little irritated that a man in Chicago said, "The American women available to an educated, upper-middle-class man in his 40s are pathetic. The good ones are married. The rest have serious mental or physical baggage."
I am curious how one arrives at the age of 40 without any "baggage." Is he talking about children, for heaven's sake? By mental baggage, is he referring to the same bitterness he is displaying?
Just a word of caution to this guy: If someone arrives at the ripe old age of 40 without any type of baggage, it's likely he forgot to pack for the trip. Packed and Living Life to the Fullest in Pittsburgh
Dear Pittsburgh: You said it. "Baggage" is often another term for life experience. Reaching the age of 40 without any baggage would require that you live a fairly isolated existence. Some folks have no interest in a relationship with a person who has an ex-spouse, or children from a previous marriage. They cannot handle the responsibility and complications, so it's just as well they look elsewhere.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@attbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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