FAMILY VACATIONS Some tips for taking kids' pals on trips

Following these rules can increase everyone's enjoyment.
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
If you want to make sure an older child really enjoys a family trip, take along a friend.
Bringing a buddy gives built-in companionship, especially in one-child families or when siblings are of widely varied ages.
It takes the pressure off parents to provide all the entertainment. And it can make everyone behave better since having an outsider along quells the habitual family bickering.
As with any family trip, it takes savvy planning to ensure that packing another kid is successful.
Checklist
Some things to consider:
UThe right kid: Retain veto power over whom your child wants to bring along, especially if you're dealing with teens. You want someone who's easygoing and respectful.
UThe right age: Some children may be ready to travel with another family when they're 9 years old. Others might not be ready until age 13.
Find out about the child's travel or summer-camp experience. Avoid taking a child on her or his first trip away from home.
UThe right place: Make the trip kid-friendly by choosing a destination they'll enjoy. That doesn't mean you have to shun all museums or cultural events and just go to theme parks. But do stay somewhere with a pool or near a beach since that will keep kids of almost any age happy for hours. And make sure you plan some do-nothing, hang-around time for them.
For teens, who often yearn to get away from their family, choose a small-scale destination where they can safely and easily go off on their own to buy snacks and shop.
UThe right stuff: Ask about the child's eating, sleeping and TV habits, but make clear that your family's rules will prevail.
Before you go, also ask the other parents for their advice and methods in case you need to discipline their child on a trip. Most kids, however, behave much better around people other than their parents.
UMoney: Before you go, work out the costs with the other family.
Make sure the child has enough money for meals, souvenir shopping and phone calls home. (Suggest the child bring a pre-paid phone card.)
Ensure that your child and the guest have about the same amount of spending money so that no one feels left out.
Safety
UStaying safe: You're responsible for the other child's safety, so work out ground rules with the other family. Can they shop and sightsee on their own for a few hours?
If you plan to hike, bike or ski during a trip, what's the comfort level and athletic ability of the child?
If you're going to Disneyland or another theme park, how scary a ride can the child handle? Are both sets of parents comfortable in letting kids go off on their own in a theme park?
If you're going somewhere with a pool or beach, what's the child's swimming ability and how closely will you need to watch him or her?
Does the child have any allergies or need medications?
UDocuments: Be sure to take along details of the child's medical insurance, plus a letter from the parents authorizing you to get emergency treatment if needed.
If you're traveling to another country, you'll need a passport for the child (although for Canada a birth certificate and photo ID will suffice). Additionally, if you're crossing an international border, you likely will need a notarized letter signed by both of that child's parents authorizing the child to travel with you.
Many countries, including Canada, require such a letter to prevent child abductions in parental-custody disputes or by strangers. For details, see the country-by-country information sheets posted by the U.S. State Department at www.travel.state.gov or phone (888) 407-4747.
The trade-offs
If you have more than one child, there may be some sibling jealousy when one gets to bring a friend. Solve that by taking along a friend for each of your children if you have the space and energy, or set up a clear rotation on when each child can bring a friend.
A downside: Taking along a guest means you'll get less time with your child. Since trips are a time when busy families can reconnect, make clear it's a special treat and that you won't be bringing friends on every trip.
An upside: Hopefully, the child's family will reciprocate and take your child with them on a trip, giving you time for an adult getaway or a quiet weekend at home.