JOHN ROSEMOND | Parenting Drive this point home: no glasses, no car

Q. Our 16-year-old daughter needs to wear glasses in order to legally drive. It clearly says so on her driver's license. We have discovered recently that she keeps her glasses in her car, but does not always wear them because she feels they make her look "nerdy." The chance of her not wearing them goes up, as you might imagine, if other teens are in the car with her. Should we take her driving privileges away and if so, for how long?
A. I'm going to assume you found out she was not always wearing her glasses when she drove because you happened to see her driving without them. I'm further going to assume that the odds of you catching her driving without them are slim. If I'm correct, she will play these odds, taking the chance she won't be caught again and also taking chances with not just her own life, but other people's lives as well. Such is the mind of the teen.
My point: You can't enforce this rule. Not reliably. For every time you catch her driving without her glasses, she'll get away with driving without them at least 50 times. So, there's no point in taking away her driving privilege for a little while. She'll still play the odds. The only perfect solution is to take her driving privilege away for good. Cancel her insurance and impound, then sell, her car.
Breaking the news
"Sorry, kid," you simply say, "but we are not going to aid and abet someone who insists upon breaking the law. Furthermore, when you drive without glasses, you are a risk, and I cannot in good conscience extend driving privileges to someone who puts herself, her passengers, and other members of this community at risk."
Keep in mind that (as I pointed out in a recent column, posted on the public side of my Web site at www.rosemond.com), I don't believe in letting young people drive until they are 18, and then only if they have graduated from high school. The current minimum-age laws were passed when 16-year-olds, on average, were a lot more mature than their contemporary counterparts.
Furthermore, the roads were nowhere near as congested, and vehicles were not as powerful. The damage done to themselves and others by 16- to 18-year-old drivers is horrific. It's "American Roulette," for sure.
So, if I were you, I would use this opportunity to snatch away that which was foolishly granted. But, you're not me, and vice versa, and if that seems too draconian, then the next step down on the consequence ladder -- call it Plan B -- would be to suspend your daughter's driving privileges for a month during which time you need to see her wearing her glasses as prescribed.
Understandings
Then restore her privileges with two understandings: First, she will now pay her portion of the car insurance (if she is not doing so already); second, the next time you discover that she has been behind the wheel of a moving vehicle without wearing her glasses will be the last time. At that point, you invoke Plan A (the draconian one). And by all means, make sure she understands, in advance, just what Plan A involves, adding, "And that will be the last automobile you will own or drive as long as you are living under this roof."
If your daughter is not a rebellious person, then Plan B should work. But with a 16-year-old, you are still throwing the dice by letting her drive at all, something I would not do in these days and times.
XJohn Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at Affirmative Parenting, 1020 East 86th Street, Suite 26B, Indianapolis, Ind. 46240 and at his Web site: http://www.rosemond.com/.