Is LeBron the 'Air' to Nike's throne?

I got my first pair of Air Jordans in the sixth grade.
They were Air Jordan Vs (still the best Jordans ever). Black ones, with plastic netting on the side and reflective tongues and air soles.
They were enough to make anyone cool, but for a sixth-grader, it was a whole new level of cool. (The sixth-grade cheerleaders didn't seem to think I was much cooler, but what do girls know?)
I thought about those shoes last Friday as I was sitting in LeBron James' press conference. In the next few weeks, James will sign a shoe contract worth as much as $50 million. (That's in addition to the $15 million contract he'll sign when he's drafted No. 1.)
A lot of people will read that and think, "Are you kidding? They're going to pay an 18-year-old basketball player that much money just to wear a pair of shoes?"
Yup.
And you know who's going to buy the shoes?
You are.
Crying game
Most of you won't wear them, of course. But your son or your grandson will be shopping for basketball shoes and he'll say, "Omigosh! Those are the new LeBron James shoes! Those are so cool! Mom (or dad, or grandma, or whomever) I HAVE TO HAVE THOSE!"
And you'll look at the price tag (probably around $120) and sigh and say, "Honey, those are too expensive."
And he'll look up at you with big sad eyes and say, "But those are the ones I want."
And you'll either buy them, or risk being "THE WORST PARENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE."
I know this because I did it to my parents. Sometimes I got the shoes, sometimes I didn't. Eventually, I started buying them myself and decided $120 was an utterly obscene amount of money to pay for basketball shoes. So I started paying $120 for running shoes instead.
The other reason I know this is because I spent almost three years in college selling athletic shoes at a large sporting goods store. (To make sure I don't give them free advertising, I'll call the place "Richard's Sporting Goods.")
Guess what I discovered? Well, I wasn't the only little kid who wanted the really expensive shoes endorsed by the latest basketball star. Shoes that are endorsed by players usually sell better than shoes not endorsed by players.
There are exceptions, of course. A few years ago, New Balance signed Manute Bol to endorse a pair of shoes, which was only slightly dumber than signing me to endorse a pair of shoes.
But in most cases, it helps.
Wrong priorities
The other crazy thing about all of this is that getting a shoe contract has become almost as important to players as other minor goals, such as, say, winning an NBA title. (Or, in the case of a Minnesota Timberwolves forward, winning a playoff series.)
Philadelphia 76ers guard Allen Iverson actually cried when he signed his deal with Reebok. Vince Carter started with Puma before Nike persuaded him (i.e. arrived at his house with a dump truck full of cash) to change companies. Orlando Magic guard Tracy McGrady signed a lifetime contract with adidas.
By the way, they've won as many NBA titles as you and I have.
Jordan, meanwhile, doesn't just have a shoe deal -- he has his own brand. Nike only puts out one "Air Jordan" every year, but there are dozens of spinoffs. Jordan even has his own line of boots.
I can't decide what's more depressing -- teen-agers getting $50 million shoe contracts, or those players using that money to install a Playstation 2 in each of their seven new cars.
Are they worth it? Of course not. But that's what the shoe executives are willing to pay. And if that's what they're willing to pay, who am I to argue?
Still, I can't decide which has more hot air -- their shoes or their brains.
XJoe Scalzo is a sportswriter for The Vindicator. Write him at scalzo@vindy.com.