ANNIE'S MAILBOX 'Joe' screams like coach when disciplining

Dear Annie: My son has three beautiful children (ages 6, 3 and 1). "Joe" was always a kind, gentle, caring and sensitive son, but with his children, he somehow thinks screaming at them will make them better kids.
Joe has a degree in psychology, and is a schoolteacher and a baseball coach. (I think that's why he screams at the kids.) I have tried to reason with him, but Joe believes what he is doing is correct child rearing. When his 3-year-old wrote on the wall with crayon, Joe screamed so loudly, my grandson almost went into shock. I am 68 years old and can't stand to see the hurt on my grandchildren's faces anymore. My heart is broken. Grandmother in New York
Dear Grandmother: Joe may have learned his screaming technique as a baseball coach, but it is a terrible way to discipline children. He should know better.
Where is Joe's wife? Can you make her understand how traumatizing this is to the children? (And when they are no longer traumatized, they will ignore their father completely.) Meanwhile, try to find some books on parenting at the local library and leave them for Joe to peruse. Maybe something helpful will penetrate.
Dear Annie: I wanted to add a few thoughts to your response to "Chicago," who was distressed that a gay Catholic friend took his own life. Please encourage him to check into Dignity (www.DignityUSA.org) to find a positive, Catholic perspective on homosexuality, which may ease his worries about his friend.
Dignity is a national organization for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Catholics, as well as our families and friends. We believe that all sexuality is a blessing from a loving God. Tens of thousands of people have been supported through our local chapters all around the country.
It is very sad that, even to this day, religious condemnation is a major cause of despair among gay and lesbian people. Through groups like Dignity, and other gay-positive religious organizations, gay people and their families can meet others who have been able to come to a positive sense of themselves. Marianne Duddy, Executive Director, Dignity USA
Dear Marianne Duddy: Ann Landers was a great supporter of Dignity, and we are pleased to encourage interested readers to contact your organization. Here's one more resource:
Dear Annie: I have a daughter who is lesbian, and I have been working in outreach ministry to Catholic gays and lesbians for over 10 years. In 1997, the Committee on Marriage and Family of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops issued a document called: "Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers."
Three pertinent statements in that document are: "Generally, homosexual orientation is experienced as a given, not as something freely chosen. By itself, therefore, a homosexual orientation cannot be considered sinful." "God does not love someone any less simply because he or she is homosexual." "Though at times you may feel discouraged, hurt or angry, do not walk away from your families, from the Christian community, from all those who love you. In you, God's love is revealed. You are always our children."
Additional information and resources can be found on our Web site, www.nacdlgm.org. Sincerely, Michael Harmuth, Member, Board of Directors, National Association of Catholic Diocesan Lesbian and Gay Ministries
Creators Syndicate