KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox Raging hormones haven't hit her yet

Dear Annie: I am a 16-year-old girl and just recently began dating. This is a confusing time for me for several reasons, but one of them is that I do not want to be sexually active with any of the boys I've dated. In fact, sex is not a consideration. Sometimes, I don't even want to kiss them. What I'd really like is a guy friend to hang out with and comfort me if I ever need someone.
It seems all of my friends do want to try physical things with different guys, so I'm not sure I'm normal. Some of the things I've heard about seem, well, really gross. I plan on saving my virginity for my future husband, but I realize many teenagers don't feel the same way. I know most boys think about sex a lot, but is it normal for girls not to?
Is it OK that I don't want to "experiment"? Please reassure me that I am a normal teenage girl, no different than anyone else my age. Confused in Kentucky
Dear Confused: You are perfectly normal. It's simply that the "raging hormones" of adolescence apparently haven't hit you yet. Assuming there is no history of sexual abuse, the fact that you find certain aspects of sex to be "gross" is not unusual, although you may change your mind down the road. Don't let your worries push you into doing something you aren't ready for. Finding friends among the boys will serve you better than any "experimenting" you might do.
Dear Annie: I received a letter from my cousin stating that she, her sister and brother are giving a surprise 50th wedding anniversary party for their mother. The problem? Their father passed away 13 years ago.
I thought once one of the partners in the marriage dies, there are no more anniversary celebrations. Please advise if this is something new that is happening or if my cousins have gone off the deep end. Not Sure in California
Dear California: What exactly are they celebrating? Thirteen years of widowhood? While it is kind to acknowledge the anniversary date of a surviving spouse, it is way out of line to have a surprise party to mark the occasion. If your aunt were aware of the party and in favor of it, that would be skirting the edge of acceptability. However, to make it a surprise party is over the top and in poor taste.
If your cousins insist on going through with this, urge them to let their mother in on the plans so she is neither embarrassed nor horrified. If you feel you must attend, consider it a party in honor of your aunt's tolerance for her nutty children.
Dear Annie: I was appalled and disgusted at the letter from "Concerned Parent of Two," who was worried about the children of a neighbor who lived "a few doors down." She said she never sees the kids outside and the curtains are always closed.
How can Miss Snoop possibly know when the family is out or in? Is she on duty 24-7? Is there some law that folks cannot close their drapes -- especially if they don't care to be under surveillance by the entire neighborhood?
This woman has too much time on her hands. She is a nosy busybody. In my opinion, "Concerned" is just itching to find an excuse to report this family and can hardly contain herself. Tell her to get a life. Branford, Conn.
Dear Branford: We disagree. Granted, some neighbors stick their noses where they don't belong. However, there have been too many tragedies involving depressed, isolated parents with young children. People who keep an eye on their neighborhood, intrusive or not, can sometimes save a life. Better safe than sorry.
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