JOHN ROSEMOND | Parenting Keep goodbyes short, sweet

Q. My husband and I have a 5-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. Our son is in a very clingy phase. Three months ago he had a very bad episode of separation anxiety when we changed his sleeping situation. Since then, he's been very mommy-oriented. He wants me to do everything for him and screams and fights if Daddy tries to do even the smallest thing.
During the day, however, he's perfectly fine with his regular sitter. In two weeks, I have to go away on business for a few days. Is there anything I can do between now and then to make my being away easier for him or prepare him for it? I've seen a lot of gimmicky things but didn't know if any of this stuff would work.
A. My nongimmicky advice, strange and anti-psychological as it may sound, is for you to simply disappear. Long goodbyes, an attempt on your part to explain where you're going and how long you're going to be gone will do nothing but create soap opera and set the stage for a very difficult separation for both you and your son. He will only understand that you are anxious, and you are leaving, and he's not going along. The inevitable consequence:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Several months ago, our daughter-in-law brought our 2-year-old grandson, Thomas, to visit with us for a couple of days while she went to a wedding. Grandma Willie told me that Thomas was very "clingy" and "attached to mom" and would certainly have difficulty separating from Nancy at the point of exchange -- the airport. Knowing Nancy, I doubted that, but having learned many invaluable lessons in the course of 35 years of marriage, said nothing.
I met Nancy and Thomas as they got off the plane. As we walked to the car, where Grandma was waiting, I told Nancy this needed to be quick. She agreed. At the car, she buckled Thomas into his car seat, kissed him, and closed the door. We drove away. It took Thomas about five minutes to realize Mommy wasn't in the car, at which point his face started scrunching up and he got the sniffles. Grandma and I just started talking to him about all the wonderful things we were going to do and he stopped.
Two days later, Nancy arrived to retrieve a perfectly content 2-year-old.
XJohn Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at Affirmative Parenting, 1020 E. 86th St., Suite 26B, Indianapolis, Ind. 46240 and at his Web site: http://www.rosemond.com/.