KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Her instinct is telling her that something is going on

Dear Annie: I just found out that my husband of 38 years has been taking a female co-worker out for drinks after work, and occasionally out to dinner. "Bill" also has gone to her home several times in the past six months.
When I asked him about it, he said it was "just business." He insists she is a friend and colleague and nothing more. I told him to please stop taking her out, and he said he would, but he refuses to give her up as a friend. He tells me she is good at her job and he relies on her.
I realize this woman works for Bill and he isn't going to fire her. But how can I trust him when my gut is telling me something is going on?
Any time I see her with him, I become upset. Worse yet, Bill rushes to defend her. I know he still calls her, because I have found her office, cell and home phone numbers on his cellphone record. (I check it after he comes home.) He claims he no longer calls her at home, but the phone record says otherwise.
I can't seem to shake the idea that he may have been intimate with her. Bill tells me he loves me and that I need to get over my insecurities. I truly love my husband and believe he loves me, but this "friendship" is tearing me up inside. Please tell me what to do. Lost and Struggling
Dear Lost: We are big believers in trusting your gut instincts. If you think Bill is overly interested in this woman, you are probably right, but it doesn't mean he is cheating on you. Ask Bill to go with you for marriage counseling, so you can each discuss your feelings about what is going on. Of course, if Bill won't cooperate, go without him. However, we're betting he'll make the effort.
Dear Annie: My husband and I recently purchased the house of our dreams. After years of "kid-friendly" furniture, I have decorated our home with antique furnishings, and we are very proud of it.
The problem is my husband's brother and his wife. They seem to think this is their vacation home. They pop in whenever they have time off. They just left our house this morning, and on the way to the airport, they informed my husband that they'll be back for a week in July.
These people are pigs. They leave wet towels on the floor, sit with their feet on the sofa, eat all over the house and have no respect for our possessions. My sister-in-law does laundry twice a day, but leaves the empty containers of detergent and fabric softener on the washer. She wouldn't think of replacing them.
How do I let these people know we are not running a resort? I don't want to upset the entire family, but I'm still cleaning chocolate off the carpeting. Any suggestions? No Southern Hospitality Here
Dear Southern: Assuming your husband feels the same as you, ask him to call his brother and say, "We're so sorry we won't be able to accommodate guests on your next trip, but we'll be happy to make a reservation for you at the nearest hotel. When will you be arriving?" They can't take advantage of you if you don't let them.
Dear Annie: I read with interest the letter from the writer who was upset because her friend reused margarine containers for leftovers. Here's how to avoid opening the wrong container: Put lids from different brands on the ones containing leftovers. If the lid and bottom don't match, it ain't margarine inside. T.B.
Dear T.B.: That's a good solution for those who recycle plastic margarine tubs -- provided, of course, all the tubs are not identical. Thanks for the suggestion.
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