PARENTING Deciding if kids can stay home by selves

When it comes to leaving your child, how young is too young?
By JOHN SKENDALL
VINDICATOR STAFF WRITER
YOUNGSTOWN -- With the kids out of school for the summer, working parents are faced with the yearly dilemma of what to do with little Joey and Suzie during the day.
There's summer camp, grandma, the baby sitter, day care and summer youth programs, of course. But what if camp ends at 3 p.m. and you don't get off work until 5?
And what if this year your son or daughter looks up at you and says, "Mommy, Daddy, I don't need a baby sitter anymore."
For parents of children in later-grade school to nearing adolescence, this means it's decision time.
Is my child old enough to stay at home unsupervised and still be safe and out of trouble?
Ohio, like most states, has no laws regarding the age and duration of time children can be left in "self-care."
So leaving a child home alone becomes a judgment call, one that depends on trust and open communication between parent and child.
Experts say many factors are involved, including the safety of the neighborhood, maturity of the child, a neighbor's willingness to help in an emergency and how quickly the child can get in touch with the parent if there's trouble.
But as to the age that a child can be left alone, there is no one answer.
Depending on maturity
Larry Kingston of the National Security Council, Northeast Ohio, said the NSC offers training to children ages 11 to 15 on how to be responsible baby sitters and look after their own safety.
As a general rule, "If they can watch others, they can watch themselves," Kingston said.
Eric Ritz of Belmont Pines said a good age to start allowing children home alone is middle adolescence, around age 14 or 15. He, like others in the medical and psychology field, said that maturity plays a much larger role than age in deciding if a child is ready to be left home alone.
"Some are more mature," Ritz said. But, he said, "Some 18-year-olds I wouldn't leave home for 15 minutes."
Wee Care Day Care and Learning Centre in Youngstown accepts children up to age 11. Director Paula Lazzari said at 12 or 13, a child is probably OK to go it alone, but not for more than a couple of hours.
Lazzari said that, as a parent, she would take specific steps before she trusted her child to stay home alone. She said children should know personal information such as directions to their house, their telephone number and address to give in an emergency.
Children who do not follow directions or show responsibility in school, such as by bringing important papers home when asked, Lazzari said, are not responsible to be left alone.
Prevent Child Abuse America notes on its Web site that, in general, children under the age of 12 should not be left at home alone.
Parenting and public safety Web sites seem to agree that children with ages in the double digits, but ideally, children over 12, who are mentally and emotionally healthy and who are comfortable being alone are suitable for self-care.
Careful planning
But once the decision is made to let a child stay home alone, careful planning can make or break the experience.
First, parents are encouraged to make a safety plan explaining to the child what to do in case of a fire, severe weather or other emergency, said a 2001 report by the Fairfax County Department of Family Services in Virginia.
That plan should include guidelines for acceptable behavior, emergency telephone numbers and a way for the child to contact a responsible adult at all times.
Next, parents should set firm ground rules with their child about answering the door and telephone, having friends over and leaving the house.
Children home alone should not use a microwave or conventional oven, some experts say. Instead, a meal could be already prepared and left in the refrigerator.
Aside from all the "don'ts," parents are urged to give their child constructive tasks like starting their homework or doing a chore or two.
Another "home alone" question concerns the right age for a parent to leave a young child in the care of an older sibling.
Ritz, of Belmont Pines, said he doesn't see a problem with a 6-year-old with no behavior problems being taken care of by a 14-year-old sibling for no more than two or three hours, but by no means on a daily basis. Too often acting as a parent puts "a lot of stress on an adolescent," Ritz said.