EMILY A. STODDARD | Blue Jean Online Father-daughter bond: crucial, but often overlooked

"Two Hearts, Inc." It's how we sign-off on our e-mails to each other, the way we end our phone calls, and the little things we say to each other right before we go separate ways. It's something stronger than "I love you," but it goes along the same lines.
My dad describes it like this: "When you were born, two separate people -- 'two hearts' came together and formed a unique bond." Our bond is distinctive on many levels, considering its strength and the unexplainable, ever-present connection linking my dad and me. Yet this bond is deepened also because it is a father-daughter bond -- one that is just as strong, if not stronger, than the father-son bond, yet very different from the mother-daughter relationship.
While I am blessed to have a great relationship with my mom as well as my dad, there is something more expected and natural about the mother-daughter relationship. As children, we quickly learn that mothers and daughters go shopping together on Saturday, while fathers and sons play baseball. It's almost etched into the American Dream that this is the way lives are led inside the white picket fence. Yet after 19 years of a fabulous father-daughter duo, I can vouch for a relationship with my father that defies such stereotypes, as it is much better and very different from the norm.
Role model
One of the most important influences a girl can have in her life is a positive male role model, whether it is a father, or someone acting as a paternal figure. Having a father figure invokes a certain balance, allowing for a social ease that not all girls with only mother-daughter relationships have. For instance, some of my girlfriends have expressed a lack of self-assurance when talking to boys, even as friends. For me, I suppose I never saw a difference between striking up conversation with a guy friend and a girl friend. I directly relate this to the candid friendship I share with my father.
Dads & amp; Daughters (DADs) publishes information for fathers and spearheads educational campaigns that recognize the importance of this father-daughter relationship. DADs proves that the father-daughter relationship is not a token concept. The group's Web site DadsandDaughters.com says, "Fathers have a profound impact on their daughters, and we want to make that impact as positive as it possibly can be."
Effects on self-esteem
Such organizations, along with fathers who bond with their daughters, make strides for young women in terms of self-esteem and social opportunities. As DADs says, "Men can very effectively advocate for girls especially when we see the connection between our concerns for our daughters and the cultural messages that undermine girls." Essentially, the role of the father in a girl's life does more than provide a unique and necessary relationship. Such a bond also promotes a social equality that challenges the exclusive images and stereotypes of father-son and mother-daughter relationships.
The approaching Father's Day makes it easier to remember and appreciate our fathers, but it also allows us to consider the importance of the father bond. Whether it is an actual father, an uncle, an older brother or a mentor who holds the father's role in our lives, it is certainly to be valued. When I wonder who I would be without this bond, I see a girl much more unsure of herself and uncertain about the world. That is to say that two hearts will always be better than one.
XEmily A. Stoddard, 19, of Grand Rapids, Mich., is a columnist for Blue Jean Online. Read more articles and reviews by young women at http://www.bluejeanonline.com, or check out the book "Blue Jean: What Young Women are Thinking, Saying and Doing."