KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox His wife doesn't know about his cross-dressing

Dear Annie: I am a 33-year-old man and have been happily married for two years. My wife and I have a beautiful 3-month-old daughter.
Here's my problem: I enjoy dressing up as a woman. I love wearing dresses, and I like the feel of nylon on my bare legs. My wife doesn't know, because I only do it while she is asleep or out of the house. Dressing up relieves stress and helps me unwind. I always have had this fetish, but was able to suppress it until the baby was born. Now the stress and lack of sleep are getting to me.
I know that I am totally heterosexual. I never fantasize about other guys, and my wife and I have a good sexual relationship. I am writing because I want to know if you think I should tell my wife. I am afraid of what she will think of me. Is my behavior normal? Somewhere in the Midwest
Dear Midwest: Your behavior is normal for a cross-dresser. Some cross-dressers derive sexual stimulation from wearing clothing of the opposite sex, and doing so relieves tension. Others simply consider cross-dressing to be an expression of their feminine side. While some cross-dressers are also gay, many, like you, are not. Your wife should not be kept in the dark, and she may be more understanding than you think. For information and support, contact Tri-Ess National, 8880 Bellaire B2 PMB 104, Houston, Texas 77036-4621 (www.tri-ess.org).
Dear Annie: After 28 years of marriage, my son-in-law, "Doug," walked out on my daughter and their four children for another woman. That was eight months ago.
My oldest grandson was married in April. Doug insisted that his girlfriend, "Trudy," be in all the photos. This was tremendously hurtful to my daughter, but worse, any time someone looks at the wedding album, there is Trudy in all her glory. I don't think this woman should have been in the photos, not because she ruined my daughter's marriage, but because she is not family. Doug has not married the homewrecker, and there's a good chance he never will. I say, if he doesn't do so before the next child's wedding, she doesn't belong in the family photographs. Am I wrong? Wisconsin Grandma
Dear Grandma: You are right. The exception would be a longtime companion who has become part of the family. Trudy doesn't yet qualify, and Doug showed a lack of consideration by including her. (If your grandson does not want Trudy in the pictures, he should ask the photographer about digital remedies.)
Dear Annie: This is for "Stuck at Home in Connecticut," the 16-year-old girl whose parents won't let her go to co-ed sleepovers or allow her boyfriend to spend the night. She should be happy her parents are so strict.
I once felt the same way. My cousin and my best friend were often permitted to have their boyfriends stay the night. My parents always said no. Well, my cousin was 16 when she had her first baby, and she is now a single mother. My best friend is 19 and has three kids.
The truth is, whether or not "Stuck" intends to have sex, having her boyfriend stay the night eventually will lead up to sex. My cousin was a virgin when her boyfriend started sleeping over. Seen It All and Know Better
Dear Seen It All: You are lucky to have parents who were willing to raise responsible children instead of catering to them. Thanks for writing.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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