Women expect more out of life

By JoANN JONES
VINDICATOR CORRESPONDENT
Elaine Pappas was finally spending what she called a "do-nothing" Saturday, a well-deserved day of relaxing and reading for a 40-year-old single mother of two teenage boys, a mother who drives 140 miles round-trip to work each day, and a mother who, in May, received her bachelor's degree from Baldwin-Wallace College.
Pappas, of Goshen Township, is a woman who welcomed her Dec. 19 milestone birthday with feelings of excitement and fulfillment, rather than with the trepidation and melancholy of having a 40th birthday. A management support assistant at the NASA-Glenn Research Center in Cleveland, Pappas said that today's women have more flexibility to get things done in a day.
"My mom didn't work until I got into high school and my brother had gone off to college," Pappas said. "My mom says I'm always on the go, but my kids have more activities these days. When I was in high school, we didn't have as much to do."
Her 30th birthday was a disaster, she said, recalling the party friends at the research center had given her. "I started to bawl and couldn't stop crying. I didn't know why. It was not a good time," she said. Since she was going through a divorce and turning 30 at the same time, she wasn't sure which was worse.
Odd similarities
As she approached 40, however, everything fell into place for her, thanks to a tremendous support system that includes her parents, Vic and Becky Mauro, cousins who live in the Cleveland area, and two bosses at the research center.
"My family and I laugh at the similarities of the significant dates in my life," Pappas said.
"On May 10, 1986, I got married. On May 11 this year I graduated from B-W.
"On Dec. 10, 10 years ago, I went to the attorney for my divorce. On this past Dec. 10, I took my last final."
"Over the last four years, I've plugged away," she added. "If I hadn't had the two bosses, I would have quit school. They just wouldn't let me. My former boss, who is now the center director, checked on me all the time to make sure I was still going."
Pappas and her sons, 13-year-old Victor and 15-year-old Andy, moved into her parents' home after her divorce, and the Mauros help "get the kids where they need to be" as well as attend their sporting events when Pappas is still at work. Her cousins who live near Cleveland would put her up for the night when she had late classes at B-W or a late night at work.
Over the hill? Hardly
Milestone birthdays of 40, 50 or 60 don't appear to affect women the way they used to. Beverly Gartland, associate professor of sociology and anthropology at Youngstown State University, said that women today, expecting to live into their 70s and 80s, are taking better care of themselves.
"Women are continuing to engage in activities that make the body work better to its capacity. They're walking, swimming and bicycling," Gartland said. "Older women don't dress differently either. You see them wearing jeans. When I was little, women wore housedresses and looked matronly."
"It's not that women are trying to act younger," Gartland added, "but the milestones aren't something people panic about. We don't even talk about people being older until they're 65."
"We have more people in that particular age range [40-60] and we're starting to promote a better image as women," Gartland said. "Women are saying, 'Fifty -- so what?'"
"Turning 50 doesn't bother me at all," said Evelyn Ferguson, the nursing home phlebotomist coordinator at Salem Community Hospital, where she has worked for 27 years. "It's only a number."
Ferguson, who will turn 50 on Dec. 9, said she enjoys her job at the hospital, but when she gets time off, she wants to travel.
In the past three years, she's been to England, Scotland and Wales, as well as Disney World, Nashville, Washington, D.C., and Gettysburg.
She is planning to go to Hawaii with her 12-year-old son, Shawn, next spring and would like to return to London someday.
"If I've got spare time and the cash, I'll travel," she said. She's looking forward to celebrating her 50th birthday by getting away for a weekend trip with high school friends who will also be turning 50 soon.
Her work at the hospital requires her to get up at 3:30 a.m. to be at work at 4:30. On some days, however, she's fortunate enough to start work at 6:30. She said she feels more tired than she did at 40, citing her "big sigh" when she finally sits down at work after standing for three or four hours. Yet, she sees what she does at work and at home as easier than what her mother did at her age.
"Even though I maybe do more, it's not as hard," Ferguson said. "I have a Swiffer mop; my mom had to get down on her hands and knees. I have a Downy fabric softener ball, and she had to run to the basement when it was time to put softener in. She had to go to the library to get information. I just get on the Web."
Charity matters
Turning 60 didn't slow down Nancy Horner, who celebrated her birthday April 8. Horner has taken on more responsibility and activities than ever before.
As the auxiliary president for Sebring VFW Post 6730, she goes to several meetings a month, works at the post's steak fries and attends conventions. She has also become the community service chair for District 8 of the VFW, which includes Mahoning, Trumbull, Portage and Summit counties.
Any district project means that Horner has 32 auxiliaries in those counties to contact and check on. Two of the most important projects she's in charge of include "Make a Difference Day" when auxiliary members help veterans or contribute to their communities and "Operation Uplink," a fund-raising program to buy phone cards for soldiers overseas. In addition, she is a deacon at her church. Yet turning 60 had little effect on her.
"Thinking about turning 60 was a scary feeling," she said. "But after I got to that day, I saw that life would go on, and it's not the end of the world." She had no trouble celebrating, she said, by going out to eat with her husband and her sister's family, but later in the week when she wasn't working, she "went out partying until 1 a.m."
A 17-year employee of MPI Labels, Horner works a 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. shift four days a week. She keeps healthy by walking two to three miles a day and swimming in her backyard pool. She said she also knows "a half-hour power nap after work" helps to keep her going into the evenings when she has meetings or has to travel.
Horner, who recently raised $200 and then walked for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life in memory of her mother, plans to form her own Relay team next year. Her mother's death in 1993 from cervical cancer caused her to go into a deep depression for which her doctor prescribed Zoloft for almost three years. But Horner didn't want to rely on drugs to keep her going.
"I had the opportunity to stay on it," she said, "but I said, 'No, I'm going to fight this.'"
Professor Gartland said she believes drugs such as Zoloft or Paxil are helpful for people like Horner who have to work through traumatic events in their lives. But she said antidepressants aren't what is keeping today's women going.
"We're better equipped today to help women who are getting older," she said. "We see commercials of people with arthritic problems who are walking and doing exercises. Calcium supplements can help with bone problems. Because they're feeling better, women are looking forward to the time when they have a lot of independence. Today's women are saying 'Yahoo' and not 'It's all over.'"