Theft victims hope the police can provide a fairy-tale ending

The Seven Dwarfs lawn ornaments have been missing since early Monday.
& lt;a href=mailto:meade@vindy.com & gt;By PATRICIA MEADE & lt;/a & gt;
VINDICATOR CRIME REPORTER
NORTH LIMA -- A teletype arrived at all police agencies in Northeast Ohio advising them to be on the lookout for Sleepy, Doc, Happy, Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy and Bashful.
No, really, it did.
The missing dwarfs are described in the teletype as 21/2 feet tall and 65 pounds each. When last seen they were dressed in "typical dwarf attire" and the little guys are "of concrete composition."
Snow White was left behind, possibly because of her size -- 4 foot tall and 400 pounds, the teletype says. (Presumably too heavy for the dastardly thieves to cart off).
No one heard "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go" when the dwarfs left Bob and Shirley Durkin's front yard at 3500 W. Middletown Road during predawn hours Monday. No one heard anything.
Three sets of footprints -- big people's -- were found in the dewy grass by Beaver Township Patrolman Vince Arquilla and Cpl. James Ball. They knew they had a crime scene to turn over to Detective Lt. Richard J. Martin.
Arquilla said the footprints led to a gas well near state Route 11.
The teletype asks that any police agency coming in contact with the dwarfs contact Martin.
Poking fun
Detectives in Cleveland, Parma, Strongsville, Boardman, Leetonia -- well, everywhere -- called Beaver Chief Carl N. Frost.
"Most told us the suspect is the evil stepmother," Frost said.
Boardman police, he said, pretended to be another department, just to get Martin going.
One caller said they found Dopey -- he'd walked in wearing their police chief's badge.
Frost's favorite investigative tip came from Cleveland MetroParks police. "They said if Snow White weighs 400 pounds, she ate them."
Frost, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, said: "Sure, it's all fun and games until it's your Seven Dwarfs that get stolen."
Frost said that, so far, there's no ransom note for the magnificent seven. There was a nefarious plan among Martin's fellow officers to send one, but he took a few vacation days.
If a ransom note arrives, the theft turns into a kidnapping. Frost acknowledged with a gulp that a kidnapping means the FBI will be called in.
Protecting Snow
Shirley Durkin stood on her porch Thursday and stared forlornly at the spot where the dwarfs had encircled Snow White in the front yard. Snow White, she said, has been moved to the garage for safekeeping.
"I feared they would come back and take her," Shirley said of the cowardly bandits. "I was so mad when I saw they'd been taken."
Her husband, leaning nonchalantly on Snow White's head, looked down and said with a grin: "That's all that's left of my kids."
Durkin said Beaver Township's finest are on the case.
The Durkins, while upset by their loss, are still enjoying the good-natured fun being poked at the situation.
A reporter wondered if there'd been any ransom demands by phone.
"No, and we're sitting by the phone 24 hours a day," Bob Durkin deadpanned.
His wife rolled her eyes.
The Durkins -- he's 60, she's 55 -- said the suspects likely include collectors who can't find the yard ornaments because the Disney Co., it seems, didn't authorize them and ordered the maker to smash the molds. The Durkins bought them six or seven years ago in Marietta.
There's one thing the Durkins are sure of: Whoever took the dwarfs had to be strong. If not collectors, they suspect teenage boys stole them as a prank.
"You don't think it was aliens who took them, do you?" Durkin asked with a mischievous grin. "My brother-in-law told me it was a good thing I wasn't sitting out there or they'd have taken me as the eighth dwarf."
Shirley Durkin has a miniature set of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs on display near her kitchen. The gaily painted figurines are identical to the ones that disappeared from the front yard.
"I hope you guys find them for us," she said to Arquilla. The officer nodded solemn assurance that everything is being done to solve the crime.
Her husband, going for a tug at the heartstrings, said: "There were tears in Snow White's eyes last night."
& lt;a href=mailto:meade@vindy.com & gt;meade@vindy.com & lt;/a & gt;