COLUMBIANA CORNER Do duty calls make police laugh, too?

Salem police responded recently to several strange calls.
In one of them, an intoxicated man called to complain about a theft.
He insisted that someone had come into his apartment and taken five of his beers.
A caller reported about midnight one weekend that two men were outside playing football -- in their underwear.
On the same night, a woman complained that her estranged husband was at her door, and she wanted police to remove him. She said her husband wanted her to do his laundry.
Sign of disturbance
In another oddball call, police responded to a complaint about a hand-painted sign placed outside a house.
The sign contained an obscenity and several swastikas.
The officer sent to investigate told the woman who owned the home to take the sign down immediately. A return call would result in charges, the officer told her.
Lt. Don Beeson said later that such a sign, placed where the public can see it, constitutes disorderly conduct.
Police were uncertain why the sign was displayed, although they suspect a juvenile living at the home was involved.
An unwelcome guest
Perry Township police had fun writing the report of a recent animal complaint:
"This officer arrived and learned that an opossum had unlawfully entered the complainant's residence without permission, and the complainant wished for the officer to remove it."
The report said police searched the home's interior and couldn't find the opossum. They suspected it may have gone out an open door.
XCONTRIBUTORS: Norman Leigh and Nancy Tullis, Vindicator Salem Bureau.