Log on to extend sympathy

Funeral directors say the online trend hasn't reduced the number who visit in person or send flowers.
By CYNTHIA VINARSKY
VINDICATOR BUSINESS WRITER
A funeral industry trend that's become commonplace in some big city markets -- e-mail condolence messages -- is gaining acceptance in the Mahoning Valley.
Some area funeral homes, including Austintown-based Lane Funeral Homes and Kelley-Robb Funeral Home in Hubbard, are including their Web site mail addresses at the end of every published obituary unless the family doesn't want it.
Well-wishers can easily access the site from anywhere and send a sympathetic e-mail to the bereaved family.
"We've offered the service for more than a year," said Dave Knarr, manager of Lane's Canfield chapel. "We really started getting requests for it when we started burying baby boomers and their parents. They're the ones who are using computers."
Lane, which also operates a facility in Mineral Ridge, lists the sympathy notes on its Web site, forwards the messages by e-mail to the family and prints out the messages for the family as well.
The number of e-mails varies widely, Knarr said. Some families get only one or two, but others have received as many as 42, often from out-of-state relatives and friends.
He knows of many "snow birds," former Mahoning Valley residents relocated to Florida or other southern locales, who check Lane's Web page daily to make sure they don't miss the death of a friend or acquaintance.
Another service
At first funeral industry experts wondered whether e-mail condolences would replace flowers and personal visits to funeral homes, but Knarr said that hasn't happened.
"It hasn't changed a thing in those areas. It's just another way for people to reach out," he said.
Dennis Robb, owner of Kelley-Robb Funeral Home, learned the value of an e-mail condolence service firsthand when his brother's friend in Washington, D.C., lost a close family member.
Robb might have let the occasion pass without acknowledgment because he didn't know the bereaved man's address. When he learned that the funeral home had a Web site, however, he was able to access the site and send a message of sympathy to the family by e-mail in minutes.
"To tell you the truth, I probably wouldn't have picked up a phone to call or looked up his address," he said. "This was so convenient, and it gave me a chance to do something when I probably wouldn't have otherwise."
Robb said that personal experience came long after he started offering the e-mail option to his own clients two years ago. Since then he's seen the service grow in popularity as more people become computer and Internet savvy.
Friends and family can send an e-mail condolence by accessing Kelley-Robb's Web site, but the messages are not published on the site. Instead, he said, the funeral home sends a hard copy of each message to the family.
Most of the people who send e-mails are out of town and unable to attend the funeral, Robb said, but some also come from locals who send flowers or visit as well as e-mailing the family.
Herron in Warren
Todd Herron, who owns Herron Funeral Home in Warren, said he began offering online condolences as a free service 14 months ago. He's still laying the foundation for his 2-year-old business, Herron said, so he sees the Internet service as an opportunity to offer his clients more options.
Some families are not interested in the option. For those who want the service, his Web site includes the obituary and a place to type in a message for the family.
Herron said his Web site gave him some national publicity recently when a Wall Street Journal writer called and quoted him in a story on changes in the funeral industry. The reporter did a Web search for funeral homes online, then chose one from the East Coast, one from the West Coast, and Herron's business to represent the heartland.
Offering the online condolence service isn't difficult or expensive, he said, but the funeral home must maintain a Web site and must have Internet access so its staff can update the site frequently.
Herron has an information technology consultant he contacts when problems arise, but he and his wife, Brenda Jo, are able to do most of the site work on their own.
Some local funeral directors continue to resist the online condolence trend.
Genny F. Mason, who owns F.D. Mason Memorial Home Funeral Home in Youngstown, said she's never been asked for the service and has no immediate plans to add it.
"I don't like it because it's not accessible to everybody," she said. "Not everybody has the Internet, and if I were grieving, I don't think I would want to be on the Internet."
vinarsky@vindy.com