KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox His name may have been forged

Dear Annie: I recently moved back to my home state. Before quitting my old job, I gave the personnel office my forwarding address so they could send my final paycheck. When I didn't receive the check after several weeks, I called the company and asked what happened. I was told the check had already been sent and cashed. Apparently, instead of mailing the check to my new residence, the company sent it to the address listed on my application at the time I was hired. My in-laws live at that address.
I am fairly certain my wife's brother forged my signature on the check and cashed it (he's done things like this before). I just want him to pay the money back, but I am tempted to call the police and have him arrested anyway. What do you suggest? Family Troubles
Dear Family Troubles: You are certainly justified to want the culprit arrested, but try another avenue before resorting to such drastic action. And keep in mind, it is possible that your brother-in-law did not commit this crime.
Contact your bank, and tell them the check was improperly cashed. Then ask your previous employer for a copy of the back of the check, with the forged endorsement on it. Tell your in-laws that you discovered your paycheck was mailed to their address and cashed by someone else, and you will notify the police in 24 hours. If no one steps forward to repay the money, follow through.
Dear Annie: My grandmother is in poor health and is not expected to live much longer. Grandma never liked my mother, and consequently, is not close to me. When my parents married, Grandma selected the photographs for the wedding album, and not one picture included my mother. Can you imagine the effort involved to do such a thing? I always feel like a stranger when I see her side of the family.
When I married three years ago, I was hurt that two of my paternal aunts not only didn't attend the wedding, but did not even send a card to wish me well. When I told them how I felt, they repeated it to my grandmother, who in turn said some rather nasty things to me. I have not seen or talked to her side of the family since.
When Grandma passes away, must I go to the funeral? I love my father very much and realize I should be there for him, but I have tremendous resentment toward his family. Tell me what to do. Fractured Family in Ohio
Dear Ohio: Go to the funeral, not only because it is the classy thing to do, but because it would mean a great deal to your father. You don't have to speak to the relatives you dislike. Pay your respects, and then leave. You won't regret it.
Dear Annie: Your advice to the woman whose friend talked too loudly at a symphony was right on. She may have a hearing problem. I am 21 years old and suffered permanent damage to my inner ear, resulting in hearing loss. I often talk too loudly and am mortified when I discover my faux pas. Also, I often don't hear people speaking to me, and they mistakenly think I am ignoring them.
Please tell your readers not to be afraid to correct us. A gentle, "Not so loud. We're indoors," would suffice. We'd rather be a little embarrassed than continue to make fools of ourselves. Linda in Lansing, Mich.
Dear Linda: While some folks may disagree with you, your willingness to be corrected shows great maturity and understanding.
Annie's Snippet of the day: "I am not bald. I am simply taller than my hair." British TV personality Clive Anderson
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