ANNIE'S MAILBOX He is no longer in love with his wife

Dear Annie: I have been married for 15 years to "Lorraine." She is a good woman, but I honestly do not love her.
She is the mother of our 10-year-old child, and for my daughter's sake, I am willing to stay in this relationship.
I admit I've had numerous affairs during the course of my marriage. Lorraine has no interest in anything other than her job and cleaning the house. She won't go to the movies, she never reads books or magazines, and she takes no interest in our daughter's schooling or extracurricular activities.
Life is short, and I want to be happy. I am presently involved in a wonderful relationship with a woman with whom I would love to spend the rest of my life. We have been seeing each other for five years, but I won't leave my marriage because I fear for my child's well-being. Please help me sort this out. Philly, Pa.
Dear Philly: Is there anything salvageable in this marriage? Will Lorraine go with you for counseling? Neither of you sounds particularly happy, and Lorraine could benefit from outside help as much as you.
Children can sense when things are not right between their parents, and while divorce isn't the preferred option, children are remarkably resilient and can adjust. Also, there is no reason to assume Lorraine will get sole custody. If counseling doesn't improve the situation, try a legal separation as a first step.
Dear Annie: I own a condo in downtown Los Angeles. The owner living above me makes a lot of noise when he walks or runs at night. When we complained to the building manager, she said the noise is due to the poor sound-proofing by the builders. We did not take any legal action.
My husband and I moved out and rented our condo to another couple. Our current tenants are now complaining about the same neighbor, and they are threatening to move out. Please tell me what I can do. Condo Problems in L.A.
Dear Condo: Have you tried talking to the upstairs neighbor to see if he would be willing to be more considerate? It won't hurt to go for the direct approach.
According to our legal expert, many condos require that floors be carpeted or equipped with sound-absorbing insulation. If your neighbor is in compliance with the decorating rules, is he breaking any other rules with his nocturnal walking and running? If so, complain to the condo board. If not, we're afraid you'll just have to live with it, or sell the unit and invest elsewhere.
Dear Annie: This past weekend, my wife and I drove 400 miles to visit my stepson and his family for the holidays. When we arrived at 10 p.m., after a seven- hour drive, all he said was, "Hey." Then he walked back into the family room where he and his wife were watching an old movie. He immediately flopped down on the couch and stared at the TV, ignoring my wife and me. That was the only greeting we received until the movie was over.
Isn't that rude? After 15 minutes of this, I was ready to leave. My stepson is curt and sarcastic, so this behavior is nothing new. I'm not looking forward to another visit any time soon since they don't seem to appreciate the effort we make to see them. What do you think? Angry Stepdad in Salem, Ore.
Dear Stepdad: We agree that it was rude behavior, but we hope you will let it go for your wife's sake. This is her son, and you don't want to make her choose between the two of you. Since they live so far away, we assume you don't make this trip often. Be grateful for small things.
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