JOHN ROSEMOND | Parenting Turning off television is more entertaining

Every so often, I receive an especially moving, interesting and/or compelling letter or e-mail from a reader. One such letter recently arrived from a mom of four -- ages 6, 4, 3 and 11 months. I decided immediately to share it because, unlike so many of today's parents who seem to think they won't have a moment's peace otherwise, this mom and her hubby have resolved to never again use television as a baby sitter -- with four young children, mind you. My readers would be prudent to consider her testimony.
"I stay at home, and my oldest goes to school. We recently eliminated television from our children's lives, 100 percent, and we have had nothing but positive results. At first the children whined and complained of having nothing to do, but they quickly learned that if they told me they were bored, I would put them to work for me, so that stopped.
"It only took a week for them to completely turn around! They stopped asking me to find things for them to do and began entertaining themselves like never before. I think it is so sad that today's children, because they rely so much on television, video games and the computer to occupy themselves, are not learning to entertain themselves. My husband and I unplugged the television because of your advice, John, and we are very grateful. We have been television-free for 7 months now, and we will never go back!"
What it means
Did you hear that, folks? I've said it before many times, but I'll say it again: Television is not your parenting friend. While your children are watching television, they are developing a dependency they transfer to you as soon as the television is off or no longer interests them. This is when the whining and complaining begins.
Unfortunately, many parents think that turning the television back on is the way to solve the whining and complaining. Not so; rather, turning the television back on only makes matters worse. What do you think moms and dads did in the pre-television days when, by the way, families were bigger?
The answer is, they didn't have to do much at all, because when a child's creative spirit is not dampened by addictions to various electronic drugs, a child will find creative ways with which to entertain himself, and -- read the next six words slowly, savoring their meaning -- he will leave his parents alone (for the most part).
I've been preaching the no-television good news since 1979, when Willie and I saw firsthand the positive effect on our children of removing television from their lives. We decided to do so after reading "The Plug-In Drug" by Marie Winn, a book that recently was published in a 25th anniversary edition. I highly recommend it, by the way.
No complaints
Over the years, I have received numerous testimonies from parents who have done the culturally incorrect thing of kicking television out of their homes. Not reducing the number of hours watched, mind you, but giving it the heave-ho.
I have never -- emphasize, never -- heard from a parent who did not feel, as does this mom and her husband, that it is the single most wonderful, family-invigorating, positive thing they've ever done.
In 1979, I proposed that television-watching (regardless of the programs watched) was one of the primary factors contributing to the then-emerging epidemic of childhood attention-span problems. Since then, a considerable body of research done by people like psychologist Jane Healy ("The Endangered Mind," "Failure to Connect") has confirmed that I was on the right track. Unfortunately, the problems now linked to television-watching, especially during the preschool years, don't end with shortened attention spans. They include learning disabilities, heightened aggressive tendencies, underachievement, mood swings and other equally scary things.
And as for video games and computers, well, stay tuned. You ain't heard nothin' yet.
XJohn Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at Affirmative Parenting, 1020 East 86th Street, Suite 26B, Indianapolis, IN 46240 and at his Web site: www.rosemond.com/.