HOW SHE SEES IT Troubles of a real tree are worth it

By BETSY HART
SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE
At precisely 4:35 a.m., my husband and I were awakened by a huge crash coming from somewhere in our home.
(Actually, I was awakened by the crash; my husband was awakened by my punching him in the back and demanding he get up to investigate the crash.)
Anyway, he dutifully looked into the matter and found that our big, beautiful, fully decorated REAL Christmas tree had fallen.
Kersplat. Shattered ornaments, broken candy canes, the whole deal.
We quickly, though not easily, righted the thing (and tied it to the wall this time) We didn't want the kids to be traumatized by a downed Christmas tree. They weren't fooled, though. One whole side of it, for now, is flat and emptied of ornaments, and we don't dare turn on the lights until we fix all the broken ones.
I'm not sure why the tree reached its "tipping point" at 4:35 in the morning. But, except for the fact that being awakened by a huge crash at that time shortened my life expectancy by about two years, I'm just happy it didn't fall on one of the kids.
An easy solution
Anyway, my husband pointed out what others are probably thinking right now: "This wouldn't have happened with a fake tree." It's true. A nice stable, steady, perfectly balanced and weighted phony baloney tree would likely not have crashed.
I'm still not giving in.
I realize that we are just days away from Christmas and that millions of Americans, a number that appears to be growing, already have artificial trees sitting in their homes. People cite safety concerns or allergies or lack of mess for their choice. Others think they are helping the environment. (If they could see the toxins that are used in making those fake trees, they'd think otherwise.)
Fine. I'm not casting aspersions on what other people do. (Well, actually I sort of am, I guess.) Mainly I'm just saying it won't happen here.
My state recently passed a law that real Christmas trees in apartments are illegal. How long before they try to come after real trees in private homes? Well, all I can say is, "Come and get me, copper!"
Why my intolerance of artificial trees? It may be my youth.
When it started
Every year, early in the Christmas season, my oldest brother would somehow convince me -- again -- that my parents had gone out to buy a dreaded fake tree. (In those days they REALLY looked awful. Only very old people had them, it seemed.) Every year I fell for it, and dutifully burst into tears over the thought of that fake tree. I was a traditionalist even then. Fortunately, so were my parents. No artificial tree entered our house.
There are other memories. Like the year we had a tree that was so dried out by the time Christmas was over, that after we took the tree down my dad put it out in the yard and threw a match on it just to see what would happen. It exploded.
My mother told me that when she was a child her family would briefly light candles on their tree Christmas Eve. -- which leads me to believe her family was nuts, except that that was in fact the tradition before electric Christmas lights became common.
And I know that cutting down a tree, bringing it inside the house, and putting shiny ornaments and candy canes and popcorn strings on it has absolutely nothing to do with Christ's birth. I know it all springs from an ancient pagan custom. Though, as pagan customs go, it's pretty good.
But for me, a real Christmas tree, mess and hazards and all, is the one last holdout against the total crassness and commercialization of Christmas. I guess I somehow think a real tree is just, well, more sincere.
And speaking of sincere, Merry Christmas.
XBetsy Hart is a frequent commentator on CNN and the Fox News Channel.