LENORE SKENAZY Available near Tikrit: 1 rm, no vu, near riv

He may be defeated, disheveled, deposed. He may well be dead meat. But, happily, Saddam Hussein has learned one valuable life lesson:
It's really not that hard to get used to a smaller living space.
Most people think they need a couple of bedrooms, a living room, dining room and -- in Saddam's case -- a selection of indoor waterfalls, dolphin pools and state-of-the-art torture chambers, just to live "comfortably."
Turns out all you really need is a place that works for you.
This is a lesson many of us New Yorkers already have assimilated. For instance, I arrived here from the suburbs of Chicago, trading leafy streets and a big back yard for a Manhattan one-bedroom that I now share with my husband, kids, pet (small fish, small bowl) and houseplant (spindly, and undernourished to stay that way).
With eerie similarity, Saddam traded his string of palaces for a T-shaped hole with a Styrofoam lid. And guess what?
I'm not complaining and neither -- I don't think -- was he.
See, it's all about flexibility. You may think you need a private casino, mosque and amusement park -- or even a bed that's not a futon you have to fold up every morning, while the kids are shouting about who gets to use the bathroom first -- but when push comes to shove, you may actually find it very pleasant not to have to worry about all those amenities anymore. I mean, which would you rather dust: an octagonal atrium filled with crystal chandeliers and monumental statues of yourself? Or a 6-foot hole?
OK -- which would you rather air-condition?
Changing channels
And how many hours do you think Saddam wasted trying to find his remote when he had to paw through throne after overstuffed throne? Puh-leez! Give me a coffin-size crawlspace any day!
True, at his most recent residence, his excellency no longer had room for the artwork he so loved -- like the painting of a topless blonde and mustachioed hunk battling a crocodile. But then again, when you're snug and cozy, who needs art? A vent of air, a stash of cash and thou. I mean, thyself. That's all you need.
Now, I know that many people who are neither New Yorkers nor despised dictators on the lam from occupying armies may have a hard time understanding just how satisfying the smaller/simpler lifestyle can be. But all it takes is one look at the joy radiating from Saddam's face, and indeed the joy on most New Yorkers' faces as they hurry to their humble homes, to realize: Happy is he who is happy with his spider hole.
Particularly if it's rent-controlled.
XLenore Skenazy is a columnist for the New York Daily News. Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.