KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Reader felt there was a wrinkle in face-lift advice

Dear Annie: This is regarding "Hurting Wife in California," who was upset by her aging appearance. Her husband and his family teased her about it. You gave wonderful advice on taking care of herself and focusing on areas that would make her feel good -- until the end, when you suggested she save money for a face-lift.
Good grief, why can't we age? I am 42 and proud of every line. I earned them. I think people are beautiful, wrinkles and all. In fact, I find people who have had face-lifts look rather funky, don't you?
Please, let us focus on natural beauty, because if we all start changing the outside without fixing the inside, everyone is going to be a perfect mess. Happy with My Wrinkles
Dear Happy: We did not mean to give the impression that the woman needed a face-lift, only that if she wanted one, she should start saving now. Frankly, the two of us are too chicken to go under the knife. However, Ann Landers was a big advocate of plastic surgery. She felt people are entitled to improve their appearance without judgment from others. Natural aging may be preferable, but society seems to be headed in the opposite direction. If a face-lift makes someone feel energetic and happy, it's fine with us. Here's more:
From Connecticut: Along with saving up for a face-lift, she should be saving up for a divorce. Those extra lines she has are probably caused from worrying about living with such a clod of a husband. Stress can kill -- not just make you look older. Tell her to get out while she can.
Wyoming: If "Hurting Wife in California" is serious about facial exercises, I can attest that they really work. One must stay with it, just as one must stay with body exercises. My doctor recommended a video by a physical therapist. I have been doing these exercises three to five days a week for three years, and the results are truly amazing. I am 65 but look 15 years younger.
Doctor Out West: Your suggestions for "Hurting Wife in California" were reasonable, but you failed to mention the two factors most responsible for wrinkles: cigarette smoking and sun exposure. Cigarette smokers have been shown to develop about three times as many wrinkles as nonsmokers by age 40. Sun exposure is a well-known cause of premature skin aging, as well as skin cancer.
Indiana: My husband is four years younger than I am and looks even younger than that. I found that Preparation H, even though it's marketed for hemorrhoids, can also eliminate lines and wrinkles when applied to the skin.
Honolulu: There are yoga facial exercises that will tighten the skin around the neck, too. Please tell her to try them.
Ontario, Canada: This is for "Hurting Wife in California." She should give her husband a face-lift -- with a two-by-four. It is the difficulties you face in life that make you age, and, since she is aging faster, he must be much harder to live with.
Missouri: My wife of 31 years is the same age I am, 53, but I don't have a single gray hair or a wrinkle. People often think she is my mother, and it is very painful for her. But, I let her know every day how beautiful she is to me and how lucky I am to be her husband. I love her for who she is. She has real heart and is not made up to look like someone else. I remind her that I married her for better or worse. Those rude people making those remarks should take a good look in the mirror. They say love is blind. I love my wife, and I see no flaws.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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