KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox He wonders why he has no interest in sex

Dear Annie: Is it possible for a man to be asexual? I mean having a virtually nonexistent libido. I like girls, but I'm not interested in them as bed partners, and I especially have no interest in cuddling or making out with any of them. (I'm not interested in men, either.)
I'm 51 years old and always have felt this way. There has been no trauma in my life to send me on this course, no broken engagement, no sexual abuse or anything like that. It seems my libido has never existed. Apparently, I've missed out on something important. Is there anything I should do about it? Small Town, USA
Dear Small Town: For most people, cuddling, kissing and sex are wonderful, exciting and rewarding experiences. You might want to be checked out by a physician to see if your testosterone levels are unusually low, or if there is some other underlying medical problem. The doctor may recommend medication, although any steps you take to recover your missing libido are entirely up to you.
Dear Annie: I am 20 years old, not married and have a beautiful baby boy who is 8 months old. I am proud of my decision to keep him, and I love him deeply.
Even though having a child out of wedlock is no longer as socially unacceptable as it used to be, I still feel a small amount of shame and regret for the choices I made. I thought my son's father was the man I was going to marry. I still hope this will happen, but the situation with "Dominick" is not improving.
I love Dominick and want him in our lives. He is 21 and has trouble dealing with the reality of his new family. Our relationship has been off and on for about a year and a half. Right now, Dominick is dating someone else, but he wants me to wait for this relationship to end, so we can be together.
Dominick says he loves me, but if he breaks it off with his current girlfriend prematurely, he might regret it later. He insists that if they split up naturally, he will then be able to give his all to me. I think this is ridiculous. If he loves me and wants the family that he has started, he should have no doubts that he belongs with us.
I'm really beginning to resent Dominick and think he has ruined my life. Am I wrong for wanting out? In Love and Hating It in Jacksonville, Fla.
Dear In Love: Dominick has a pretty sweet deal going here, and although it took you some time to catch on, you get it now.
There are no guarantees that Dominick will marry you, and it is pointless to wait for him to shape up. Dominick should be paying child support and maintaining a regular presence in his son's life. See a lawyer, and get it in writing. Meanwhile, accept the reality that you are a single mother for the foreseeable future, and be determined to make the best of what life has given you. We think you'll do fine.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Open House in Greenwich, Conn.," who was embarrassed because a visiting friend had given a large amount of money as a "thank you" gift.
For years, I was uncomfortable accepting money from friends in similar circumstances. Finally, I came up with a solution. When someone gives me money, I mention what charity I plan to donate it to and how happy I am that they have given me this opportunity. When I want to give someone money, I tell them, "If you don't want to accept it, pass it along to those who need it." It turns a conflict into a win-win situation that makes everyone happy. Doyle in Nacogdoches, Texas
Dear Doyle: Thank you for a reasonable and compassionate solution.
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