KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Add your flame to wave of light

Dear Annie: I am a mother who lost a son last year. I remember reading one of your columns in the Lubbock (Texas) Avalanche-Journal about an organization where people all over the world light a candle in memory of children who have died.
After seeing that column, my neighbor brought a candle over to my house with a note saying she would be lighting her own candle at 7 p.m. in memory of my son. I lit the candle she brought, and I knew people around the world would be lighting a candle on the same date. It was such a wonderful memorial for me.
I am trying to locate this information so I can find out if they are doing it again. It is so important to continue this tradition. S.D., Lubbock, Texas
Dear S.D.: The same day that your letter arrived, we received this one in the mail. It will answer all your questions:
Dear Annie: We are once again moving into a season that for most people is filled with happiness and joy. But for families dealing with the death of a loved one, this can be a particularly difficult time. When that missing family member is a child, the emptiness can be smothering. I want to make your readers aware of a way they can remember and honor children of any age whose lives have been cut short.
The Compassionate Friends, a national self-help organization for families that have experienced the death of a child, invites everyone to light a candle for one hour at 7 p.m. local time next Sunday, Dec. 14, during The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting. The remembrance is held the second Sunday in December each year.
Candles are first lit west of the International Date Line, and then an hour later in the next time zone, eventually encircling the globe in a 24-hour wave of light.
With nearly 600 chapters in the United States, and a national presence in 30 countries around the world, The Compassionate Friends expects hundreds of organized memorial services on that day, open to all those who grieve for a child. A listing of many of these can be found on The Compassionate Friends national Web site at www.compassionatefriends.org.
Those remembering a child who has died are invited to share their thoughts Dec. 14 on the memory board at the national Web site. For more information, your readers are welcome to call the national office toll-free at (877) 969-0010. We do this in remembrance of our children ... that their light may always shine. Patricia Loder, Executive Director, The Compassionate Friends, USA
Dear Patricia Loder: Thank you so much for reminding our readers about the Worldwide Candle Lighting, in memory of all the children who have died. Please, folks, join us in lighting a candle next Sunday at 7 p.m., local time, and add your flame to the wave of light around the world.
Dear Annie: I am a college sophomore and a regular reader of your column. Over the past few months, I have noticed that some of my friends are compulsive liars. They lie about everything, important or trivial, or at the very least, exaggerate details in their stories. What compels them to act this way, and how should I react? Auburn, Wash., Student
Dear Student: People who lie about trivial things and exaggerate details do so because they need attention and want to feel important. They believe an embellished story makes them more interesting to others. Feel free to correct them (be gentle), or simply plaster a tight smile on your face and change the subject.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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