KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Divorcee is concerned about her son's wedding

Dear Annie: After 25 years of marriage, my husband announced he wanted a divorce. He had been having an affair for two years with a co-worker. I spent my life trusting him, and he broke my heart. We have been divorced for three years, and he and his (I still don't know what to call her in polite company) have been living together since then. He told our children that he does not intend to marry her.
Our son is getting married soon, and I would like to be able to rise to the occasion and deal with this woman's presence graciously, but I don't think I can. I want to call her up and ask her to excuse herself from participation, as she has no relationship with my son, and her presence can only cause pain.
Is this a huge faux pas? Shouldn't I be able to relax and enjoy the celebration of my son's wedding without her there? Please help. Still the Wife in My Heart
Dear Still the Wife: Your signature speaks volumes about your state of mind. It's obvious that you are still grieving over the end of your marriage. While we sympathize with you, this woman is your ex-husband's steady girlfriend of three years, and as such, she is entitled to an invitation to the wedding.
If at all possible, talk to your ex, and let him know you'd appreciate it if his girlfriend would stay in the background. She should have absolutely no role of any kind at the wedding. It would be wonderful if she decided to be considerate and stay home, but don't bet the rent. Hold your head up, and don't let her spoil the big day.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Losing It in Lodi, Calif.," whose neighbors keep their cats outside, and they cry all night. We also had neighbors who left their noisy kitties out overnight. Repeated requests to bring the pets inside went unheeded. So we fought "meows" with "meows." Three other neighbors joined us, and we telephoned our rude neighbors every time one of their kitties woke us up in the night.
When the neighbors answered the phone, we said, "Meow, meow, meow." It wasn't long before they brought their cats in for bedtime and the rest of the neighborhood began getting some peaceful sleep. Sleeping in San Marino, Calif.
Dear San Marino: Your idea is certainly the cat's meow, and we're glad it worked for you. Several readers purred in on this one. A woman in Colorado tape-recorded the barking of her neighbors' dogs, set the speakers to face the neighbor's house and played the tape back each morning. Another reader pointed out that cats left outside might be killed by coyotes, neighborhood dogs, automobiles or people who hate cats. Our thanks to all who wrote.
Dear Annie: I am 15 years old. My 7-year-old sister has a friend named "Susan" who lives up the street. Susan is always calling our house. Our phone starts ringing in the morning, before my sister is awake. Susan even calls when we've told her my little sister won't be home.
We feel Susan has overextended her welcome and her attention-hungry personality is exhausting. How do we tell Susan's mom that she shouldn't call so much, without putting a damper on the relationship or starting a fight? Tired in the Midwest
Dear Midwest: Does Susan annoy your parents, or just you? Your folks should tell Susan's mom that her daughter calls too early and too often. They also can get a clock and show Susan what time she is allowed to call, and how many times. When she reaches her limit, say, "Susan, this is the last call today." If she calls again, hang up. The girl can learn how to modify her behavior if you are consistent and patient with her.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Creators Syndicate