KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Readers offer advice to mother of child who likes to bite



Dear Annie: I would like to respond to the letter from "Nibbled in Sturgis, Mich.," whose 17-month-old daughter likes to bite. My son, too, was a horrible biter. I read all the "experts" who claim that kids bite out of anger, frustration, jealousy, fear, and so on. But those scenarios didn't fit our boy. He bit for any reason at all. He once walked past a child, bit the kid in the forehead and just kept on going. No amount of scolding or time-outs helped. We left numerous play dates in tears.
We were told to bite him back, to have his dad lay down the law, to separate him from the group, and a host of other punishing remedies. Nothing worked. He even bit the cat. Finally, I called our pediatrician, who said, "Bribe him!"
At our next play date, I told him he could have ice cream if he didn't bite anyone. It worked. Within two weeks, he had stopped biting altogether. Bribery was simply another way of rewarding and reinforcing good behavior. Five years later, he is a fine little boy, and we get compliments about his conduct. Mom of a Formerly Notorious Biter in Virginia Beach, Va.
Dear Virginia Beach: Many readers wrote in with their own remedies for biting. While we aren't recommending them, some of you may find them useful:
From Biloxi, Miss.: Here's how our little shark was cured. His teacher kept a small spray bottle of water mixed with vinegar. When a child would bite, the teacher would react as if there had been a small injury -- to the biter! Calmly and sweetly, she would explain that biting can get dirt in their mouths. She would then ask the biter to stick out his tongue and she would squirt the vinegar mixture on it. The children were not scolded or humiliated, and it took only a few times for them to realize they didn't like getting their tongues "cleaned."
Chandler, Ariz.: When a child bites, immediately take the child's arm, press it firmly against his top teeth and say, "No. Teeth hurt. They are only for eating." Follow this with a time-out or similar loss of privileges, and discuss what he can do instead that would be more appropriate.
Kansas: I had that problem with my second son. One day when we were in a pizza restaurant, he bit his older brother. I saw the hot pepper shaker on the table and put a tiny sprinkle in his mouth. After letting him scream a few seconds, I gave him a drink of milk, and he was fine. He never bit again. This worked on my third and fourth son, too. It also cured spitting and the use of foul language.
Midwest: We tried every piece of advice we could find to get our son to stop biting. Three weeks ago, my mother suggested a bar of soap. Now, every time he bites a person, he has to bite a bar of soap. He has gone from biting several times a day to less than once a week. He actually pauses for a moment when he wants to bite, then stops himself and comes to me to help him with whatever situation he was in that provoked the biting instinct.
North Carolina: When my son was 19 months old, he started biting his father and me constantly. I had bruises all over my arms and looked like a battered woman. After much frustration, I began thinking in terms of natural consequences. When he bit me, I didn't want to play with him, so I would simply walk away, go into my bedroom and shut the door. A week of this, and he stopped biting.
Huntsville, Texas: We had the same problem when our daughter was 2. An old-time doctor said, "Dump cold water on her." The next time she bit, we brought her into the kitchen and dumped a glass of water on her head. We only had to do this twice and never had a problem again. P.S.: She started college this year.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Creators Syndicate