PARENTING BOOK Hobbies nurture kids' self-esteem

You can spark a child's interest without being pushy, an author says.
By STEPHANIE DUNNEWIND
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
Ask children what they're interested in, and the answer is often disheartening: watching TV or playing video games.
Children today have a harder time developing interests beyond pop culture, but a passion -- be it collecting rocks, watching birds or making art -- can help children learn to concentrate, find their own answer to "I'm bored" and enhance learning in a fun way, asserts Monica Cardoza in her new book, "Child's Play: Enriching Your Child's Interests, from Rocket Science to Rock Climbing, Stamp Collecting to Sculpture."
Plus, she notes, "In my thousands of conversations with parents and children all around the country, I have found that the children who have developed self-esteem from the inside out are those whose parents have helped their youngsters find, select and nurture a passion."
Concerned about standardized testing or "getting ahead," some parents focus on straight academics rather than developing interests, Cardoza said. But children often learn skills and knowledge in the pursuit of a passion, enjoying themselves the whole time.
TIPS FOR NURTURING INTERESTS
Here are some of Cardoza's tips for nurturing children's interests.
Don't push a child into an interest. Depending on their child, parents may have to make an effort to expose children to different activities. But a parent's role is to guide, listen and support. "If you succeed in finding your child's passion, he'll be the one pushing you to help him pursue it."
Don't worry if an interest seems unconventional. "If it sparks a child's passion, it's worth pursuing."
Don't assume an early interest will predict a child's adult career path. Likewise, Cardoza advises against trying to select the "right" interest to help children get into a good college or earn a scholarship. "It's not the interest itself that matters; it's the act of pursuing it."
Consider joining a club; many adult special-interest clubs offer junior divisions or activities. Social interaction makes an interest more fun for some children.
Going beyond fads
Don't worry if your child's interest is the latest fad. "Fads can introduce young children to the idea of interests and often segue into non-fad-based interests."
Don't let a full schedule of extracurricular activities prevent a child from pursuing interests. "It's all about building a passion that will last a lifetime, not a season." Sometimes the two may intersect, such as a child who plays baseball and also collects baseball cards or loves to read about baseball history off-season.
Don't throw away a collection even after your child's interest fades. Pack a selection of treasured pieces and store it. This shows that you value the time and energy involved and allows your child to revisit happy memories when a collection is reopened later.
Remind children that quality, not quantity, marks a good collection. Narrow interest areas; for instance, if your child likes to collect rocks, suggest he focus on agates, or rocks of a certain color. Monetary limits also help contain out-of-control collecting.
Give gifts carefully. According to a survey of adult collectors, nearly half began their collections with an item received as a gift.
Don't go overboard. A child might want to take three art classes a week in the throes of her initial interest, but that can burn her out on a passion that might otherwise last for years. Also, don't assume lessons are always required; some children find the structure and need "to do it right" inhibits their natural joy in an activity.