GAIL WHITE We have a way with words, and Webster's has noticed

The cackhanded agony aunt was sitting in her gimme cap eating the killer app Frankenfood she spent many dead presidents on. She was cheesed off with her McJob where she didn't make bubkes and thought about being Goth and jumping in a mosh pit. That would be def.
If you don't have any idea what you've just read, you need the new Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 11th Edition.
More than 10,000 new words have been added to Webster's revolutionary 11th edition, touted as "a fascinating barometer of what is happening in society today."
It's fascinating, all right.
I had never heard of most of the words I used in that first paragraph. Now that I am hip-to-the-groove on the new terminology in the English language, thanks to Webster's 11th, I will interpret for those of you are as puzzled by the dog's breakfast (confused mess or mixture) as I was.
The (cackhanded) left-handed, awkward (agony aunt) columnist who writes an agony column was sitting in her (gimme cap) adjustable visored cap that often features a corporate logo or slogan eating the (killer app) feature that makes something worth having or using (Frankenfood) genetically engineered food she spent many (dead presidents) dollars on.
She was (cheesed off) angry with her (McJob) low-paying job that requires no skill and has little opportunity for advancement where she didn't make (bubkes) beans and thought about being (Goth) a person who wears mostly black clothing, uses dark dramatic makeup and often has dyed black hair and jumping in an area (mosh pit) in front of the stage where very rough and physical dancing takes place at a rock concert.
That would be (def) cool.
Never-ending task
For more than 200 years, the eminent scholars at Webster have tracked, studied and analyzed words to include in "America's leading resource for those who work and play with words."
Noah Webster began this incredible accumulation of words in 1806 when he published the first truly American dictionary, A Compendious Dictionary of the English Language (Compendious means concise, comprehensive.)
In 1828 Noah published his "magnum opus" (the greatest achievement of an artist or writer) with his two-volume An American Dictionary of the English Language. (Apparently, since it was two volumes, it did not qualify to be compendious.)
In these volumes, Noah added distinctly American words such as skunk, hickory and chowder.
I can't help but wonder if, in generations to come, vermiculture, tweener and punditocracy will be as familiar sounding as those new, unfamiliar words Noah included 150 years ago.
The road to inclusion
The process by which a word is included in the dictionary is fascinating.
The eminent scholars at Merriam-Webster Inc. track the usage of new words.
Take the newly included word, phat, for example.
Phat, adj. slang: highly attractive or gratifying: excellent.
Phat most likely started as jargon said by a select group of people. In 1963, the Merriam-Webster editors first noticed the use of phat in a written context.
They recorded the word and the context in which it was used into a database.
Through the years, phat continued to reappear. Finally, Merriam-Webster's included phat in its 11th Edition.
Owning some space in America's best selling dictionary is pretty phat.
Or is it def?
Maybe it's just plain cool or, heaven forbid, awesome.
Keeping up with all this new terminology fills me with agita and makes me a little hinky.
Know what I mean?
gwhite@vindy.com