POOL PARTIES Get in the swim of things but don't make waves

Mixing work and poolside play can be a very terrifying experience.
SCRIPPS HOWARD
For the shy, the pale or the pudgy, summer brings doom like no other season. Why? The dreaded swim party.Suddenly, co-workers and friends of friends expect to see a lot more of you.
Johanna Riggle Segesser of Costa Mesa, Calif., isn't sure if she's excited or terrified that she's traveling to Las Vegas this month for a poolside party her husband's office is throwing.
"People will be there who I see maybe a couple times a year, at Christmas parties or co-ed baby showers," says Segesser, 29. "Suddenly, it's transformed into a more intimate experience."
How will she deal with it?
"It's all about the sunglasses and no eye contact," she jokes.
Ah, sweet denial. Few people want to think, much less talk, about getting half-naked -- and therein lies part of the problem.
Kenneth Christian, a licensed psychologist and author, says people ought to mentally prepare a bit for the situation.
"The shyness is an understandable thing," Christian says. "You truly are revealing more about yourself."
Christian says if it's a party with co-workers, the vulnerability experienced while half-naked may not be consistent with the "dynamic and successful and on-top-of-things" way you present yourself in the workplace.
On the other side, it can be awkward seeing co-workers in bathing suits.
Michele Promaulayko, executive editor of Cosmopolitan, says even the beach and boardwalk don't strike the same kind of fear into our hearts.
"There's something about lying on a chair next to the pool on the concrete that seems less camouflaging than sinking into the sand," Promaulayko says.
As you scurry for the cover of a sarong or beach towel, also take comfort in the idea that you're not alone.
"This isn't some sort of psychological malady that only plagues people with subpar self-esteem," Promaulayko says. "It's normal. There's a natural tendency to compare ourselves to other people."
As Yogi Berra might put it, 90 percent of the battle is half mental.
Party preparation
To prepare for pool parties, Promaulayko suggests people "spend more time in a naked or nearly naked state beforehand. You can do this housecleaning, anytime you're alone at home.
"It's a matter of getting used to that state of being, so rather than seem unusual, it's normal."
Christian says wallowing in a pool of bashfulness is a no-win situation.
What's the answer? Christian suggests focusing on the social engagement.
What else can you do? By now, it's too late to walk your way to a tiny tummy. Nevertheless, there are a few physical things you can do.
Promaulayko says tans that come out of a tube or bottle help. So can choosing a swimsuit that flatters your body instead of one that shows how trendy you are.
T-shirts can hide sins. As a bonus, they provide a little protection against sunburn.
If you're not planning to swim, shorts and sundresses cover more than a swimsuit. But don't be content to sit forlornly in a corner. Even nonswimmers can trail their toes in the water or be the life of the party by judging contests or chasing errant beach balls.
Kids can be a great distraction for self-conscious parents. Just make sure youngsters are invited -- and keep them under control.
Reflections
Pam Holland -- co-author of "Help! Was That a Career Limiting Move?" -- says people at company pool parties sometimes don't realize that the behavior of their families, good and bad, will reflect on them.
Holland says if you're lucky enough to have a great body, think twice about strutting your stuff in front of co-workers.
"You just don't want to do anything that will detract from your capabilities and who you are as the businessperson they know you to be Monday through Friday," Holland says.
Hosts can make things more comfortable for their guests by providing plenty of shade and water, clearly identifying where the bathrooms are, and if possible, having separate changing rooms for men and women.
They should also make it a rule that no one is to get thrown into the pool.