ALZHEIMER'S 'Wedding' provides ties to past

The staff at an adult day-care center planned an elaborate, fake wedding.
By DAVE SCHEIBER
SCRIPPS HOWARD
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. -- On a quiet morning, at 10:15 sharp, the familiar strains of the "Wedding March" flow through a large room.
Heads turn to catch a glimpse of the bride. Behind the processional of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, she waits for her moment, beaming at the gathering.
She is dressed in an elegant cream-colored gown, with a beaded headpiece and long, delicate veil held aloft by her matron of honor.
But this is not just one more June wedding.
It's Wednesday at the Largo Adult Day Services Center in Florida -- where many of the senior citizens sift through memories that have become hazy and elusive in the early-to-mid stages of Alzheimer's disease, where others cope with physical infirmities, where all of them seek escape from the loneliness and boredom they cope with daily.
Right now, most are energized, indeed, thanks to weeks of planning by center manager Peggy Donofrio and activity coordinator Pat Hazell.
The mock wedding is under way.
Now it's all up to Betty Hooley.
Spiffy groom
By the archway, the groom looks spiffy in a white tuxedo and the white Coast Guard officer's hat from his World War II days. He is Melvin Worth, a popular regular who was the staff's hands-down pick for the leading male role.
Tall and dapper, Worth, 80, has full command of his sense of humor. What he no longer has is his vision. For the past decade, he has been legally blind. So he is accompanied by his guide dog, Seemore, a yellow Labrador retriever.
Worth wants to have fun with the pretend wedding. He has dressed Seemore in a black top hat and bow tie and had a small heart-shaped cushion strapped to the dog's back to carry the wedding rings. In an inside jacket pocket, Worth is hiding a garter to surprise his bride later, and women's undergarments to throw to the male wedding guests.
Everyone in the room knows Betty Hooley. They know her friendly smile and giggle. At 77, she is trim and in good physical shape. Her appearance momentarily masks the Alzheimer's that derails her train of thought and makes the right words sometimes impossible to find.
Warm spirit
The staff decided her warm, lively spirit would make her the perfect bride and the role might make her especially happy. She had been married long ago, but her husband died of a heart attack in their home in 1983.
At her new home, where she lives with her son and his family, she has been talking constantly about the nuptials.
Now, Betty Hooley steps to the arch, flashing the trademark smile for all to see.
She says she was never married, because perhaps she simply doesn't remember now, or the memories float in and out. But she was married. Her husband was Keyran "Spike" Hooley, a fire hydrant salesman throughout New York state for the Kennedy Valve company.
About a year-and-a-half ago, she moved in with David's family. For months, she thought she was going home to New York, waiting each day to be picked up. Later, she moped around the house or just watched TV, so he decided to take her to the center.
"I kind of tricked her into coming here," he says. "I said this is a club, and you've got to do something. But the first time she came here, she says to Peggy [Donofrio], "I'M GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, I AM NOT JOINING YOUR CLUB!' Peggy just said to her, 'Why don't you come in and check it out?' So she did, and now she doesn't ever want to leave."
And she's got marriage on her mind again.
"It can be a little tough at home with all the talk about getting married," her son says. "I'll say, "Mom, it's just for fun, like when we play bingo.' She goes, "It is not.' I think it makes her happy to think about it."
At the front of the room, a whimsical tone is instantly set. Local entertainer George Aldrich, wearing a French beret, performs the wedding. He reads from a script filled with one-liners.
Across the room, Hazell, the center's event coordinator, gets the room set up for a catered lunch.
The former teacher has been at the 2-year-old center for just six months, but she has made special events a big hit here. Donofrio is delighted with the outcome.
"With people who have Alzheimer's, they're living in the moment," Donofrio says. "And in that moment, it was joyful. Memories will slip in and slip back out again. So in most everything we do, we deal in the now and try to bring pleasure and enjoyment to it."