KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox Splash party for teenagers didn't require swim trunks

Dear Annie: A few weeks ago, our 13-year-old son, "Mike," was invited to a birthday swim party at the home of a classmate. Five other boys also were invited. We recently moved to this area and were pleased that Mike had made new friends.
I talked to the mother, who seemed nice, and she promised that the party would be well-supervised. However, when my husband picked Mike up later, he noticed his bathing suit was completely dry, although his hair was wet. It seems the boys had been skinny-dipping. The mother apparently went out shopping, and the father convinced the boys to join him in the pool, naked.
When I found out what went on, I hit the roof. Later, I called the mother, and we had it out on the phone. She says her husband and son swim nude all the time and there's nothing indecent about it. I accused her husband of child abuse. She threatened to sue me and hung up. We then talked to the police about it, but they say if there is no sexual contact between the adult and the boys, no law has been broken.
Legal or not, we don't feel good about it. We have refused to allow Mike to have any contact with the boy or his family. Mike is furious at us for keeping him away from his new best friend. I spoke with the other boys' parents, and they don't see a problem. One mother even told me to apologize. Now we are having second thoughts about our decision. What do you think? All Wet in North Carolina
Dear All Wet: Accusing the father of child abuse was an overreaction, but we agree that it is completely inappropriate for an adult male to encourage 13-year-old boys to swim naked with him. Those parents should have told you what the swim party entailed and asked your permission before inviting Mike to remove his clothes.
Don't prevent Mike from seeing his friend, but have the boy come to your house instead of the other way around. Teach your son how to protect himself from potential child molesters, and tell him to report any disturbing behavior to you.
Dear Annie: I live in a nice neighborhood. Most of the residents take pride in having a nice lawn and flowerbeds. But one of my neighbors and her dog are driving me batty.
"Lilly" and her husband have no lawn or flowers, but they do have plenty of trees. However, whenever Lilly takes "Rover" outside, she walks the dog around the neighborhood, letting Rover go wherever he wants. Rover particularly likes doing his business near my front steps, and Lilly seems to guide him in that direction.
Lilly picks up after Rover, but my lawn is not doing well with all the extra fertilizing and foot traffic. Is there a polite way to tell Lilly to take her dog elsewhere and stop hanging out in front of my house? Creeped Out in Charlotte, N.C.
Dear Charlotte: Lilly is trespassing and damaging your property by allowing her dog to use it as a regular potty stop. Try the nice approach first. Pay a visit to Lilly, and ask her to keep Rover off your lawn. If that doesn't work, report her to the police. Her behavior sounds deliberately malicious.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Married Men are Off-Limits," who asked how to identify married men who don't wear rings. A single female friend used to say that every bar in Tallahassee, Fla., was filled with men who had lust in their hearts and rings in their pockets. Her strategy was to ask for a business card. If the guy didn't write his home number on the back, she assumed he was married. Wearing My Ring in Wisconsin
Dear Wisconsin: Thanks for the tip. Every suggestion helps.
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