KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox She suspects friend may be mutilating herself

Dear Annie: I'm a 17-year-old girl, and I'm worried about my friend, "Bette." Every time I see her, I notice nasty-looking scars or scrapes on her arms. I confronted Bette about the marks, but she insists she's had them for years and it's no big deal. I know she is lying to me. I've seen her a number of times, and those scars weren't there earlier. Not only that, but they seem to be getting worse -- they are longer, wider and redder than when I saw them last.
I asked Bette's boyfriend if she has been cutting herself, but he insists she is fine and there's no mutilation going on. I also talked to my mom. She said if Bette were cutting herself, her parents probably know about it, because they've seen her at soccer games with the sleeves on her jersey rolled all the way up to her shoulders. What do you think, Annie? Concerned Friend
Dear Friend: People often see only what they want to see. It's possible Bette's parents are unaware of her scars. It's also possible she has some kind of skin irritation and a doctor is handling it. You sound like a caring friend. Talk to Bette again, and tell her about your concerns. Urge her to have a heart-to-heart with her parents, the school counselor or the soccer coach if something is troubling her.
Dear Annie: I have read a lot of letters in your column about husbands and boyfriends using the Internet to pick up women. I have the same problem.
My husband, "Derek," can't seem to stop writing these other women, even after he gets caught and promises never to do it again. I have found flirtatious e-mails and profiles of women on the computer. Of course, in his own profile, he doesn't indicate that he is a married man. Derek never checks his e-mail when I am home. He waits until I am out of the house. He makes sure to delete anything I might read. Meanwhile, our social life is nonexistent. We never do anything together.
I am tired of all the sneaking around and secret e-mails and passwords, and have reached the point where I no longer care. I am just happy to see letters like mine printed in your column. I wonder how men would feel if we were doing the same thing. Sick of Internet Cheaters
Dear Sick: They would feel as you do -- suspicious and betrayed. Internet cheating is not confined to males. Plenty of women are online, chatting, flirting and sometimes meeting up with other men. Derek ought to be marked "return to sender."
Dear Annie: I'm 92 years of age and live by myself, thank God. I've never married nor had children. I'm planning to write a will and am thinking of leaving everything equally to my four nephews and two nieces. They are between 53 and 66 years of age. There was a time when we were quite close, particularly when they were growing up. However, much to my sadness, I've had continued contact only with two of my nephews. I haven't seen the others in more than 30 years.
Should I include all of them in my will for the sake of treating everyone equally? Or should I leave everything to the two nephews who call and visit me often? I'm concerned that after I die, there may be some resentment toward those who are on the inheritance list. Bachelor Uncle
Dear Uncle: Nothing like waiting until the last minute to make out a will. You do not owe your nieces and nephews anything. However, if you want to keep resentment to a minimum, we suggest giving each of them a little something, then add to that what you would like to give those nephews who have continued to be part of your life. If the others don't like it, too bad.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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