FOSTERING FATHERS Men tackle parenting topics

Avoiding structure permits flexibility for the group.
By JOHN W. GOODWIN JR.
VINDICATOR STAFF WRITER
YOUNGSTOWN -- At least once a month 25 or more guys get together for conversation and an overall good time.
At these meetings, however, there are no sports figures on a nearby television, beer nuts and cold drinks are nowhere to be found, and the conversation is clean enough for the youngest ears to hear.
Virtually every stereotype of male bonding is broken.
Children of varying ages play in a nearby room, and some of the older kids sometimes sit at the table to hear what the guys are talking about. When the conversation is over, the entire group gathers for lunch.
This is the Male Involvement Group, a program sponsored by the Youngstown Area Community Action Council. The program was created as a forum for discussion of family and fatherhood issues by fathers of all ages, whether they are single or married.
Shelia Triplett, one of the program coordinators, said the program also encourages and shows unwed fathers how to maintain an active role in their children's lives.
Parenting discussions
Triplett said a greater number of children are being raised in single-parent households. She said in the black community for example, 70 percent of children are raised in single-mother households, and fewer than 10 percent are being raised in households where the father is the sole parent.
"The issue is not that men don't want to get involved, but that many don't know how to fit in," she said. "If you look at the studies and all of those kinds of things, you know the outcome for children academically, spiritually and emotionally is better when both parents are involved."
Luther Stubbs, program coordinator, said the discussion is always facilitated by the fathers in the group and covers areas such as discipline, communication, family quality time, and the adverse influences on children and couples. The group sometimes spends time golfing, bowling or attending a baseball game, but the children are always the center of attention.
"The strength of the group is the participants," said Stubbs. "We provide a place to deal with the issues the men like to discuss. We have tried to resist structuring the group."
Stubbs said the group is not limited to fathers, but is also open to those who are a father figure in the lives of children whose fathers are deceased, in jail or otherwise unavailable.
At a recent workshop at the Holiday Inn in Boardman, group members and several speakers took on heavy issues such as the changing roles of males in the 21st century, incarcerated fathers coming home and child support.
Awards were given to State Rep. Sylvester Patton; Jerry Carter, of the Neil Kennedy Center; Ralph Cruz, a community minister; and Erma Davis of Needle's Eye.
New perspective
Reasons for joining the group vary from father to father. For 31-year-old Jody Odom the motivation was simply to see if there was something more he could do to be a better husband and father to his two daughters and one son.
"This program has helped me expand my horizons as far as being a father," he said. "I had not thought about taking my kids to say a baseball game. My dad never took me to a baseball game, but this program helps you change your whole perspective as a father."
Reggie Revere has a daughter and two sons. He noticed the increasing level of violence and aggression between males in society as a whole. For Revere, the group was a means of learning the best method of curbing some of the aggression and teaching his children better methods of dealing with life's issues.
jgoodwin@vindy.com