STORM AFTERMATH Look at what you still have, expert urges flood victims

The counselor also urged victims to take time to relax.
By PETER H. MILLIKEN
VINDICATOR STAFF WRITER
YOUNGSTOWN -- Despite major damage to their homes from recent storms, most flood victims need to keep their losses in perspective, a local mental health counselor says.
"Look at the big picture. You're still alive. You still haven't lost everything. Some things can be replaced; others can't, and it's OK to mourn that loss," said Steven Ilko, a state-licensed professional clinical counselor with Turning Point Counseling Services, a community mental health center in Struthers.
"Time does help with things," said Ilko, who also is a disaster mental health volunteer with the American Red Cross. In that capacity, he has toured recent flood and tornado-stricken areas of the Mahoning Valley and counseled some flood victims.
Ilko said flood victims need to be reassured that they'll be acquiring new things and making new memories with their families.
"I'm not trying to minimize it; I'm just trying to help them keep a good perspective on things," he explained.
"When things go wrong, people tend to have blinders on, and they are so overwhelmed by what's going on, by that stressor, that flooded basement, or any other damage, that they forget to take a step back to remember what's still going right for them," he observed.
With the exception of the drowning death of John Keytack, 10, in a Warren storm drain, local families have not lost anyone in the recent storms, Ilko noted.
What to do
"Most people were doing really well. They have friends and family to help out. Everybody was doing pretty well. I was surprised," he said of flood victims he encountered. Residents of some areas, especially Leavittsburg, have experienced flooding before and knew how to cope, he noted.
"The first thing to do would be to take care of the three basics -- food, clothing and shelter. You can't work on mental health until you have the three basics," he said. The Red Cross supplies those three items, if needed, in the immediate aftermath of a disaster.
Next, he advised establishing as much of a family routine as possible, including regular mealtimes, especially for families with children.
"For children, structure and routine are really important," he said, advising parents to emphasize to children that they are safe and keep familiar toys, if possible.
"Children may become more clingy. The younger ones may revert to thumb-sucking, wetting the bed, wanting to sleep with the parents. That's OK short term. They'll come around after awhile," he said.
If a favorite toy can't be retrieved or has to be thrown out, ask the child what new toy he or she wants, and try to make up for the lost item by replacing it with something else, he said. "You want to instill a sense of hopefulness," he advised.
Keep track of loss
During the cleanup and replacement of carpet and furniture, he said flood victims should take photos and keep receipts to document losses and cleanup costs for an insurance company or the Federal Emergency Management Agency.
He also cautioned against abruptly throwing out family heirlooms that may be salvageable. "You never know what a good furniture restorer can do. It may look worse than the actual damage is. Even with old photographs, sometimes there are ways to save them. Oftentimes, things may not be as bad as they look," he said.
He also urged victims to write down a list of things that need to be done and prioritize the items on that list, "realizing, of course, that you can't get it all done in one day."
He also advised leaving some relaxation time, for things such as reading or watching TV, if possible, preferably at the end of each day of cleanup.
Talking with family members, friends and neighbors who have had the same flooding experience can be helpful, he said.
Recovery will take time, and victims need "to remember to give themselves time to recover," he said. Victims need to realize that symptoms of heightened anxiety or depression are normal in this type of stressful situation, he added.
If victims are still experiencing eating or sleeping problems, difficulty concentrating, indecisiveness, and intrusive dreams and recollections of the event a month after the storm, Ilko said they should seek professional counseling.