Here's a laugh: Jimbo for president

The silly political season is upon us. How can one tell? Congressman-turned-federal prisoner James A. Traficant Jr. is actually contemplating a run -- is the word "run" appropriate for someone behind bars? -- for the presidency. Silly? Of course. Intriguing? No doubt -- but not because Traficant is worthy of serious consideration.
Rather, such a candidacy would offer untold possibilities for creative campaigning. For starters, the campaign ads could feature Traficant in prison stripes bolting from the Allenwood prison in White Deer, Pa., with the caption, "Run, Jimbo, Run."
For another, he would certainly be the only candidate in next year's presidential election whose campaign paraphernalia -- buttons, bumper stickers and the like -- could feature his prison mug shot with "No. 31213-060" emblazoned under it.
And, the former sheriff of Mahoning County could actually lay claim to being a genuine "law and order" candidate -- a jury found him guilty of breaking the law and a federal judge issued an order that has resulted in his serving an eight-year prison sentence in Pennsylvania.
Is Traficant really thinking about running for president? It appears so. The ex-congressman isn't talking to the press, but papers have been filed with the Federal Elections Commission to create a draft committee to place his name on the ballot. The draft effort is being led by a 30-year-old New Jersey man, Marcus Belk. Belk contends that Traficant best represents the views of the average Democrat -- such as using your public position for personal gain?
Capitol Hill buffoon
And while Belk's website, www.traficant2004.com, has received numerous hits from reporters still enthralled with the man who played the Capitol Hill buffoon for 171/2 years (as a representative of the Mahoning Valley, no less), and who ended his political career as a two-bit criminal, the story will be short-lived unless Traficant is able to keep the press interested.
It doesn't matter if an exploratory committee is formed, or even if simple-minded Traficant supporters decide to funnel money into his presidential campaign coffers. The former congressman will be viewed as nothing more than a circus sideshow once the presidential campaign is in full swing next year.
So, how can he keep the story of his candidacy alive? By doing something so outrageous, reporters will be attracted to it like flies on dung. Traficant should announce that his campaign committee will consist of individuals who, like him, are former politicians serving time behind bars.
UCampaign manager: James A. Philomena, former Mahoning County prosecutor, now inmate number A451031 at the Lorain Correctional Institution in Grafton. Philomena was transferred to the state pen on July 1 after serving almost four years in a federal prison in Alabama. He had pleaded guilty to federal and state criminal charges stemming from his tenure as the county's chief lawyer.
He created an enterprise that, in effect, put up a "Justice For Sale" sign on the front steps of the courthouse. That experience would be invaluable as Traficant's major domo: It takes a crook to know a crook. Philomena would be able to orchestrate such an elaborate campaign scam that even the ever-vigilant press would be fooled.
UTreasurer: Phil Chance, former sheriff of Mahoning County, who is serving time in the federal penitentiary in Milan, Mich., after he was found guilty of racketeering. Federal prosecutors established that Chance took campaign contributions from mobsters and then used his position as the county's top cop to do favors for them.
He certainly would be an asset to Traficant's campaign considering his connections with the underworld.
UChief fund-raiser: Lenine "Lenny" Strollo, mob boss-turned-government snitch, currently serving time in an undisclosed location. This appointment would actually represent an olive branch from Traficant. Strollo's feelings were hurt in 1980 when Traficant was running for sheriff and took money from mob bosses Charles and Orland Carabbia and Vincenzo "Jimmy" Prato, and didn't pay attention to Lenny.
Strollo could help fill Traficant's coffers not only with his own dough, but with money from his "business associates."
A crooked presidential candidate with a campaign committee made up of other crooked politicians, with dirty money for the asking? Now there's a headline story.