GAIL WHITE Fun meal: $1.99; shoes: $40; kids' smiles: priceless

We had been shopping and it was lunch time, so I took my 4-year-old out to eat.
As I placed his fun meal in front of him, his eyes lit up. Quickly he dug to the bottom of the bag. He squealed with delight as he pulled out the toy from inside.
Sitting there watching him, I became amazed at what $1.99 had just bought.
A hamburger (ketchup only), a bag of fries, fruit punch drink and a 10-cent toy in exchange for a smile that lights up my world from a child who thinks I'm the greatest for buying him this special treat.
A million dollars could not have made either one of us happier.
A different story
On the other hand, when shopping with my 14-year-old $1,000,000 is not nearly enough -- no smile included.
"I have to have these shoes," he told me with a look of agonizing pain on his face.
For a moment, I stared at him. His expression was so full of anguish and despair he looked as if he were completely shoeless. I looked down at his feet. He was not shoeless. His feet were clad in a perfectly fine pair of shoes.
Looking at the pair he "needed" so desperately, I couldn't believe my eyes.
"They look like clown shoes," I told him.
He rolled his eyes. I am so not cool.
Rubbing my hands along the inside I observed, "There is no arch support."
More rolling.
"They're $40," I announced a little too loudly, reading the price tag on the bottom. "Take the star off the side, and this is a $5 pair of shoes!"
His look of despair turned to agony as my words fell on his ears.
"Want a hamburger?" I asked as we walked out of the store.
"No," he pouted in return.
$1.99 wasn't about to make him happy.
But some hard work did.
He helped his father at work and saved up baby-sitting money. In less than a month, Robert had $50. We returned to the store for those shoes that he "needed."
He stared at the clown shoes a little longer than he did the day he expected me to buy them for him.
In the end, he decided, he did indeed need them. Hesitantly, he laid his hard-earned money on the counter.
Carrying his bag out of the store, he complained about the tax. "Why is it so much?" he wanted to know. He had never noticed the tax before.
I looked at him, as he walked to the car with a smile covering his face.
His smile lit up my world, just like the smile of my 4-year-old.
A different smile
Yet, this 14-year-old's smile was different. It wasn't a smile brought on by delight over a treat that had been bought for him. It wasn't a smile of adoration for me as the giver of the treat.
His smile was personal. It caused him to walk a little taller and hold his head up a little higher for what he had accomplished.
He wanted something. He worked hard and saved his money for it. Now he was holding his treasure in his hands
For a moment, I felt a tinge of regret. Being the hero with the goodies is a big thrill for me as a parent.
But if I had bought those shoes for him, in my giving, I would have robbed my son of a gift that he will carry with him long after the clown shoes are worn out.
Pride and self-respect cannot be given. They must be earned.
Robert's price for earning his self-respect and pride was hard work and $40 (plus tax).
What he received for that price was a pair of clown shoes and a smile of self satisfaction. That smile is priceless.
I will continue to surprise my 4-year-old with $1.99 treats. Yet, I know there will come a time when he will no longer squeal with delight over the toy at the bottom of the bag.
He will long for his heart's desire (hopefully the clown shoe phase will have passed.) He will work and save and buy his treasure himself.
He, too, will walk with pride and smile a smile that money can't buy.
gwhite@vindy.com