Balancing job path and family

U.S. workers in their 30s and 40s are our busiest residents.
The challenges of rearing children, advancing in careers, maintaining homes and staying active in the community have created a class of time-starved, sleep-deprived workers.
Career development? Is that a new band playing downtown? Even keeping up on modern culture is overwhelming at this stage. Here are a few career-planning ideas to squeeze in around kids' soccer games and out-of-town business meetings.
Do you have a home yet? A family? If these are serious goals of yours, then this is the time to make them happen. This is the settling-down phase for most people, and the time when they will benefit most from a stable income and the chance to advance in their work.
Now is also the time to get serious about career planning and the role you want your job to take in your life. Careers that will depend on higher education or the development of key skills must be identified and planned for, or they will never come about.
This is the generation that has it all: young children who need constant care, older children who need help starting out in life, and aging parents who need occasional or constant assistance for daily living. Toss in a divorce or two, with the resulting blended family and visitation schedules, and you may wonder about the people who think work is stressful. Work is a breeze compared to the family mayhem so many face in their 30s and 40s.
Taking time out
Despite these pressures, you must not let work and training goals disappear entirely under a cloud of family obligations. Time management inevitably becomes boundary management at this life stage: Do you need to be at every soccer game? Is it in the family's best interest to let each child participate in multiple after-school activities -- making you the transportation for each activity? Tough choices are the rule in the 30s and 40s, particularly when there are career goals in the balance.
The financial stresses at this life stage mirror the family stresses, with an additional 10-ton elephant: retirement. Now, besides house payments and college savings, workers are starting to worry about retirement planning. Things get messier when jobs end abruptly, as they often do in this era of constant corporate restructuring.
The best, and perhaps only, way to stay in control of your finances at this stage is to keep a clean financial house. That means using little or no credit, relying on one car instead of two if at all possible, and not buying more house than you need.
Speaking of houses, resist the urge to refinance for a shorter mortgage period and higher monthly payments. You don't want to be stuck with that high payment if you lose your job.
Another way to keep money in your account is to reduce the number of major life changes you make. Changing homes, changing jobs and changing spouses are the three lifestyle interruptions that can set you back financially.
Planning carefully
This may be the time of highest self-sacrifice in your life, when you delay your own goals and interests to help establish your family. You may choose work that is more pragmatic than exciting. That strategy is fine, but if you want to eventually shift to something more interesting, you will have to lay the groundwork now. Follow these steps as often as possible in your 30s and 40s.
UIdentify short- and long-term goals, to keep in mind what you are shooting for.
UDedicate at least one evening a month to your career -- attending meetings, reading trade journals, taking seminars.
USpend at least one lunch a month with a colleague outside your company, to maintain and build your network.
UCross-train at work, with a focus on learning second skills that can develop into second careers.
If you have started a degree, now is the time to finish, while your old credits still hold some value.
Be sure that the allocation of your primary resources -- time and money -- matches your long-term goals.
XAmy Lindgren, the owner of a career-consulting firm in St. Paul, Minn., can be reached at alindgren@pioneerpress.com.