GAIL WHITE A hard lesson reforms a hard-core drinker

Alan Rihel of North Lima has learned one of life's lessons the hard way.
At 22 years old, Alan finds himself looking at his future in a whole new light -- one filled with hope for what is to come. But Alan also will carry with him a constant reminder of the mistakes of his past.
"I started drinking when I was in 9th grade," Alan says.
"My dad died and I was mad at the world," he says, explaining the event that triggered his downturn. "My dad was my everything."
Called JR by his friends, Alan says, "The JR stands for junior. My dad's name was Alan."
JR took the hurt that he felt from his father's death and tried to numb it with alcohol. His habit turned into an addiction.
"I gave up a lot of stuff for alcohol," JR says. "I quit playing football. I had good grades until I started drinking."
JR's mother did what she could for her faltering child. "Mom did everything in her power to stop me. She grounded me all the time," he explains. "I wasn't allowed to get my driver's license until I was 18. ... But you can't watch someone every minute."
Shaking his head in shame, JR says, "If I had only listened to half of what my mother said ... "
Joined the Army
After high school, JR joined the Army. His drinking continued. His Army career did not.
"I don't like to talk about it," JR says sadly, admitting his drinking caused problems in the military.
By that time, JR had realized that drinking was ruining his life. He simply didn't know how to stop.
"I had been around alcohol my whole life," he says.
At 21 years old, JR returned home from the Army. He found a job and determined to control the habit that was consuming his life.
"I moved in with some friends," he continues. "Life turned into one big party."
But JR believed he had his drinking under control.
"I never missed too much work," he remembers rationalizing.
JR was rationalizing other aspects of his life as well.
"I hid my drinking from my girlfriend," he confesses. "I didn't want her to know how much I drank."
Eventually, the girlfriend would be added to the list of things that JR gave up for his drinking.
But JR's list was about to grow longer.
Pivotal event
On July 13, 2002, JR was celebrating the wedding of a friend in his usual fashion. Coming home from the reception drunk, he drove his car off the road.
"I don't remember the wreck," JR says.
What he does remember is waking up in the hospital with his weary-eyed mother standing over him.
"You know you lost your leg," JR remembers her telling him.
Sitting in his wheelchair, JR looks down at his leg, gone below the knee. Behind the sadness in his eyes, there is a burning resolve.
"Sometimes it takes bad things to happen for good to come," he says, still staring at his missing leg. "The bad has happened. Now, I'm gonna do good."
"I sit and think a lot about what goes on out there," JR says, pointing out the window of the rehabilitation facility where he is recuperating. "I just don't want anybody else to have this happen to them."
JR is working with a prosthetic. "I gotta learn to walk again." He is expecting to be out of the rehab facility by Thanksgiving.
"I told my mom I would walk into her house on Christmas day," he says with resolve. "No canes. No crutches. I will walk by myself."
JR's resolve doesn't end there.
"I would really like to work with kids to help them not to make the same mistakes I made," he says.
"If I could change one kid's life around from doing the things I did, that would mean the world to me," JR says, smiling.
"It doesn't bother me that I lost my leg," JR shares. "Because I got a second chance at life."
With his second chance, JR plans to make another list. This one will not be full of all that he gave up. Instead it will be a long list of all that he has to give.
gwhite@vindy.com