ASK DR. RUTH Answering sex appeals

The celebrity doc has twice been selected College Lecturer of the Year.
By BRITTANY DRAFFEN
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
Long before MTV's "Loveline" with Dr. Drew Pinsky, there was Ruth Westheimer, better known as Dr. Ruth.
If the name doesn't ring a bell, you might recognize her heavily accented voice from TV commercials for Clairol Herbal Essence, Honda and Pepsi.
But since 1980, she's made her name talking about sex. Her attempts to transmit what she calls "sexual literacy" have found their way onto radio programs, books, videos, games, computer software, the Web, syndicated columns and television programs, including Lifetime's teen-oriented "What's Up, Dr. Ruth," which won a gold medal from the International Film and TV Festival for excellence in educational television.
Her biography notes that she has twice been named College Lecturer of the Year. She also co-wrote "Dr. Ruth's Guide to College Life."
An expert is born
Q. How did you become interested in being such an expert on sex?
A. I worked for Planned Parenthood of New York City in 1967 and realized that this was going to be a very interesting subject matter. ... At university I taught teachers about sex education, but I realized that I didn't know enough.
Q. At what age do you think it is appropriate for people to start having sex?
A. I could never answer that. I'm old-fashioned and a square, but I'm explicit in my talk. I believe that some people, depending on their background, education and religion, are not ready. I'm very sad when I hear that people engage in sexual activities without having made that decision [for themselves]. For some people, if they decide to be sexually active, they should decide that's what they want to do and to be protected. Never be pushed into activity because of a few drinks.
Sex or love?
Q. What is the difference between "having sex" and "making love & quot;?
A. I believe that first you have to be in love and then have sex. I don't believe that anyone should engage in being sexual without being loved.
Q. What factors go into loving someone? How do you know when you're in love?
A. I couldn't tell you. You have to feel that deep inside. Nobody could tell anybody how you know. Every person really has to discover that for themselves.
Q. Are women just as sex-driven as men?
A. I do believe, yes, even though our society has said men want sex and women want love. I believe through equality, that men and women want sexual experiences with people they love.
Q. Do you think sex education should be taught in school? At what level?
A. I do believe sexuality education should be taught at all levels -- even in kindergarten -- because children are more sophisticated these days. Teachers, churches, synagogues should [play a part in sex education].
Birth control
Q. Is it hard [for teens] to get birth control besides condoms?
A. It is, but it should not be. They should go to their gynecologist and get protection.
Q. Should teens go to a doctor regularly to check for STD whether or not they've been sexually active? If so, should they see their normal doctor and what kind of tests/precautions would be done?
A. No! If they're not sexually active, there is no reason. If they are, anytime before they start a new sexual relationship, they should make sure that both of them have no diseases and should discuss contraceptives.
Q. If you think you want to go all the way, but change your mind and the boy keeps going, is that date rape?
A. I don't want to answer this question without knowing all the details, but I believe that no one should be forced to do anything they do not want to do.
STD risk
Q. If engaging in oral sex once, what is the likelihood that a teenager could receive an STD?
A. Very high. I believe that anybody has to have a relationship with that person so they both know that they are healthy and that they love each other and have decided to have sex, but not under the influence of alcohol and peer pressure.
Q. During your many years in this field, what has been the most difficult question to answer or the most interesting question ever asked?
A. All of the questions are interesting. I don't really have any most difficult question because, if I don't know the answer, I just say I don't know and go look for the answer.
XBrittany Draffen is co-editor of The Kansas City Star's TeenStar section.