KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox Weight-obsessed friend shapes conversations around her body fat

Dear Annie: My very good friend, "Rita," is obsessed with her weight. Almost every conversation is centered on how much she weighs, how much she has gained or lost, and how "good" or "bad" she's been. Yesterday, she had herself hydrostatically weighed, which she says is the gold standard for calculating body fat. Now, every conversation is focused on her body-fat level.
Rita is in great shape, but you'd never know it from listening to her. I could afford to lose 10 pounds, but I don't bore people to death with it. I am tired of worrying about my body image and have decided to focus on eating a healthy diet, getting sufficient exercise and accepting myself the way I am.
I find myself avoiding Rita because I cannot tolerate the constant emphasis on weight-loss issues. Should I be honest and tell her she is driving me away, or should I keep my mouth shut and hope she gets over it? Riverside, Calif.
Dear Riverside: Tell Rita she looks fabulous and her obsession with her weight could be a warning signal for a serious problem, such as anorexia. Let her know you think she is overly focused on her body image and ought to discuss it with a professional. If you say it with genuine concern, she may get help. At the very least, she might stop talking about it.
Dear Annie: My very shy mother read the letter from "Not That Desperate Yet in McLean, Va.," the 80-year-old man looking for love on the "geezer circuit." My mother asked me to e-mail the following response to him:
"Dear Not That Desperate: Your sense of humor attracted me instantly. Anyone who can treat life with such amusement in this day and age must be delightful company. I am in my 70s and not bad-looking. However, one thing I don't like is a wildly growing beard. I can't imagine running my fingers through wild hair unless it's on a fox terrier. I would like to correspond and get to know you better. Not So Desperate in Santa Fe, N.M."
Annie, I know you are not a matchmaking service, but I haven't seen my mom this excited for a long time. I feel like a girlfriend passing notes in school. Mom's children have been her life for the past 40 years, and suddenly, she's interested in a man! I guess there's always hope of finding love. Her Daughter
Dear Daughter: Your mom sounds charming, and we're so sorry, but we cannot put readers in touch with one another through the column. It's too risky. Several readers suggested the man do volunteer work, especially in local care organizations, and one reader said he ought to move into a retirement community where there would be plenty of fun-loving women his age. You might recommend both ideas to your mother. If she is willing to look for love, she can find it.
Dear Annie: I am the personnel director for a small company, and I handle recruitment and hiring. While I am greatly impressed with an applicant's punctuality, I am always surprised when someone shows up an hour early for an interview. This seems as disrespectful as being late. It inconveniences me because I must either rearrange my schedule to accommodate them, or force them to sit in the lobby unattended for a long period of time. Is there an etiquette rule for this? Charlotte, N.C.
Dear Charlotte: These applicants are overly eager to impress you, but they should realize it is inappropriate to show up that early for any appointment. Since you are running a business, however, you do not need to entertain these people. Put out some magazines, and let them wait their turn.
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