For Ryan, Congress will be a gas

Congressman-elect Timothy Ryan is already following in former Congressman James A. Traficant Jr.'s footsteps: to the toilet.
Just hours after the complete but unofficial vote totals in the 17th District Congressional race were announced Tuesday night, Democrat Ryan, a state senator from Niles, was asked by a reporter for WFMJ-TV Channel 21 what his first act would be after he is sworn in.
"Find the restrooms," Ryan replied. It was a comment heard round the Mahoning Valley and was a topic of discussion Wednesday. It elicited the following question: "Was he serious, or was it planned as a joke?"
First words
Anyone who watched the live broadcast would have concluded that the answer was unrehearsed. Those were the very first words that came out of the congressman-elect's mouth. Talk about thinking on one's feet. The reply simply confirmed what this writer has been saying in this space for months: Ryan is a politician robot. Feed him a TV sound bite and he spews it out with no difficulty. But pose a question that requires him to go beyond his one-liners and he has a mental meltdown.
It is ironic, however, that his first order of business as a member of Congress after he is sworn in has to do with his bodily functions. That's vintage Traficant. But the congressman-turned federal prisoner used his references to all things diarrhea for shock value. And to get the attention of reporters.
It is also ironic that Traficant's last significant reference to his potty behavior occurred during his House Ethics Committee hearing in July on Capitol Hill. Before the start of the hearing, surrounded by a hoard of reporters, photographers and television cameramen, the felon was clearly irritated:
"How about giving me some room ... this is disgusting," he said. "If I had a gastric emission it would destroy ..."
Demeaning
During his 17-year, 7-month tenure as the representative from the 17th District, Traficant often used one of his favorite sayings -- "He's like a mosquito nibbling on an elephant's ---" -- to demean a critic or political opponent.
Traficant, who is serving an eight-year prison sentence in a federal penitentiary in Pennsylvania for his conviction on 10 criminal charges, was deliberate in his use of bodily function references.
But that wasn't what happened to Ryan, who won Tuesday's election by defeating Republican Ann Womer Benjamin and Traficant, who was on the ballot as an independent. The 22-month state senator was caught with his pants down, in a manner of speaking. It wasn't a difficult question -- "What's the first thing you're going to do after you're sworn in?" -- but it obviously wasn't one he was expecting.
If, on the other hand, he was trying to be funny, he needs to understand that going to Congress isn't a joke, especially not for an individual who has the enormous task of persuading the nation that the residents of the Mahoning Valley aren't mentally challenged. He needs to show his colleagues in the House that Traficant's corrupt behavior, foul language and locker-room quips aren't reflective of the region's residents.
Ryan's first live television interview after his victory was an opportunity to prove to his detractors that they have misjudged him, that he isn't an intellectual lightweight.
Ryan is not thoughtful, but as his many supporters kept insisting throughout the campaign, "He's a good kid and will learn the job." At $150,000 a year salary, his presence in the House of Representatives would certainly qualify as one of the more expensive federal job-training programs.
Litany of excuses
As to whether he has what it takes to be a serious officeholder, the jury is still out. His brief tenure in the Ohio Senate amounted to a litany of excuses as to why he has not sponsored any legislation: The Republicans control the Senate and, therefore, as a Democrat it is almost impossible to get a committee hearing on any bill the GOP leadership does not suggest or support.
But when he goes to Washington, Ryan will confront a Republican dominated House, a Republican majority in the Senate and a Republican president in the White House.
What's a young man with deep Democratic roots and strong labor union support supposed to do? Skip the all-important freshman orientation this week, that's what.
Ryan says his duties in the Ohio Senate come first.
Earth to the congressman-elect: They won't miss you in Columbus.