KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox Story sends warning about online chatting

Dear Annie: My husband and I were married for 42 years, and I thought we were happy. Last fall, "James" met a woman from Australia on the Internet. He insisted "Sheila" was just a friend, but something about her made me nervous.
Last March, I found an e-mail from Sheila where she referred to herself as James' fiancee. I asked James about it, and he convinced me that Sheila was delusional. Then James started using our new Webcam. I was suspicious and did a little eavesdropping. What I heard devastated me. James said he couldn't wait to see her. He said he bought her a ring and they were going to make love. I told James to pack his bags and get out. When Sheila arrived in town three days later, the two of them spent a week in a motel. James called me the day after she left and said he had made a huge mistake. He begged me to take him back. Stupidly, I did.
Last week, while I was at work, James left with only his clothes and camera and flew to Australia. There was no note. He called from Los Angeles to let me know where to pick up his truck. He cleaned out our bank accounts and sold most of our valuables. He left me with no money, a mortgage, two car payments and no insurance. He didn't bother to say goodbye to his sons, grandchildren or friends.
James is not young. He's 65. Sheila is 62 and no beauty. Our sons say as far as they are concerned, their father is dead. I hope they change their minds and see that he is simply a foolish old man living in a dream world. Reality will set in, and the money will run out, but by then, there will be no place left for him in my life.
I am blessed with a wonderful support group of close friends and family. Without them, I could not go on. Tell your readers to be careful. If it happened to me, it could happen to anybody. Sarasota, Fla.
Dear Sarasota: Your story should serve as a warning to anyone whose spouse spends inordinate amounts of time chatting online with members of the opposite sex. It's rarely innocent and often leads to serious trouble.
It sounds as if you are adjusting to your situation and not drowning in bitterness. Good for you for making lemonade out of lemons.
Dear Annie: Six months ago, a group of us went together to a baseball game. I was the only one to have a usable credit card, so I paid for the tickets and asked my friends to pay me back as soon as possible.
Most of my friends were prompt about repaying the money, but two of them still have not come through. Whenever I bring up the debt, they say, "I don't have the cash this week, but I promise I'll pay you next week." They haven't yet.
I don't want to seem like a jerk, hounding them all the time, but I'm getting fed up and feel taken advantage of. Should I give up? Resentful in California
Dear California: The deadbeats deserve to be hounded a little longer, but realize that you may have to chalk this one up to experience. Don't make the same mistake twice.
Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old female and have been taking antidepressants since I was a child. Sometimes I cannot avoid taking my pills in front of others, and often, someone will ask me what the pills are for. Isn't that extremely rude? How do I politely tell these people to mind their own business? Washington, D.C.
Dear D.C.: If you cannot excuse yourself to go to the ladies room, smile and change the subject. Say, "What a lovely dress you're wearing!" Or, "So, how are the Wizards doing this season?" Only a total clod would miss the message.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@tbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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