KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox They don't sound like mainstream Catholics

Dear Annie: Several years ago, my son married a Catholic girl, and he converted to her religion. Now, the two of them will have nothing to do with anyone who is not Catholic. A longtime family friend invited them to her home, and they refused to come because she is divorced. This friend had been like a second mother to my son, and she is heartbroken by his attitude.
My son and daughter-in-law will not attend weddings, funerals or any function that involves other religions. My daughter-in-law tells me, "I am praying for you," and says the same thing to anyone else who doesn't share her religious views. This is causing a lot of stress in our family. What can I do? Anonymous Please
Dear Anonymous: This doesn't sound like your average mainstream Catholic. Some religions discourage or forbid members from attending prayer services of other religions, but would not restrict members from keeping in touch with old family friends. Is it possible your son and his wife are members of a more stringent religious sect? Talk to your son, and get more information. Also, talk to his priest for guidance and help in understanding the choices your son has made. Good luck.
Dear Annie: I have a 9-year-old son who is playing football for the first time. Although "Shawn" is not a starter, he does get some playing time. He thinks the starters are the "cool" kids, yet these are the same ones who behave like bullies. When someone fumbles or makes an error, they swear at him or laugh.
Shawn has been the object of their ridicule a few times. Should I continue to allow him to play in such an environment? He truly loves football. Protective Parent in Washington
Dear Parent: The choice should be Shawn's. Discuss the situation with him, and ask if he wants to continue playing football. Try not to inadvertently influence his decision by expressing your own worries and prejudices.
All kids are teased and criticized from time to time. It's how your child handles the negative comments that will determine how damaging they are to his self-esteem. Can he laugh off the teasing and take it constructively, or does he cry and avoid his teammates? If the ridicule is severe, will the coach intervene?
Meanwhile, teach Shawn not to forget how it feels to be on the receiving end of such harsh remarks. Hopefully, he will become a starter one day and remember to treat his "less cool" teammates with more respect.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Confused in Newton, Mass.," whose friend, "Luke," left gay pornographic material at his house after a sleepover. My heart goes out to these two young men.
It is possible that leaving pornographic material of men was Luke's way of telling his friend that he is gay. I know because I am a gay man. When I was 17, I did the same thing with my best friend, leaving a pornographic magazine for him to find. My friend and I talked it over, and he understood what was happening with me. That was over 25 years ago, and we are still the best of friends. I was the best man at his wedding, and both he and his wife love me dearly.
"Confused" should talk to Luke with an open mind and heart and ask him about it. I wish both these young men good luck. Had to Respond in Washington, D.C.
Dear Had to Respond: You have provided a different but compelling explanation for the pornographic material. Discussing the issue without condemnation is the best way to resolve it amicably. Thank you for suggesting it.
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