KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox Co-worker's pictures were very explicit

Dear Annie: My husband is a computer programmer and has worked in a small multimedia company for about a year. He is professional in his demeanor with his co-workers and cordial, but not overly friendly. He does not socialize with his business associates outside the office.
Last week, "Jim," a male co-worker 15 years his senior, handed him a computer disk and said, "Want to see pictures of my wife?" My husband, trying to be polite, said, "Sure," and put the disk into his computer. Suddenly, he was watching a frame-by-frame presentation of Jim's wife taking off her blouse and exposing her bare breasts. The final picture was of Jim and his wife having oral sex.
My husband had no idea how to respond. He was shocked and horrified. He handed back the disk and said nothing. When he came home that night he told me all about it and said it was the most embarrassing moment in his entire life.
I was livid. I think this constitutes some kind of sexual harassment and Jim ought to be reported to management. Obviously the man needs some kind of therapy. What sort of deranged person shows pornographic pictures of his wife to other men? My husband believes it's best to act as if the entire tawdry experience never happened. What do you say? No Decency Anymore in Michigan
Dear Michigan: You are correct that this incident may constitute sexual harassment. Should your husband choose to pursue the possibility, he needs to discuss it with the human resources department.
Jim may be an exhibitionist and pornographer, or he may be a joker who thought the disk would produce an amusing reaction from your husband. Regardless, the man is a nitwit, and his wife doesn't sound any better. However, this is your husband's place of business, and how to handle the situation should be his decision, not yours. P.S.: Was it out of politeness that your husband kept watching the disk after the first frame?
Dear Annie: I have a cleaning lady I consider a friend. "Louise" has been in my employ for five years. She cleans while I am at my office. About four months ago, Louise began slacking off. Every time she comes to my home, she neglects an area she used to clean. Last month, it was the bathroom floor. Last week, it was my glass table. Yesterday, it was the basement carpet.
In the past, I made lists of what I would like cleaned. Louise followed the lists, and I was happy with her work, but now I am becoming increasingly dissatisfied. I do not want to hurt Louise's feelings or terminate her employment, but I feel taken advantage of. What should I do? Cleaned Out in Wilmington, N.C.
Dear Cleaned Out: Is Louise having some physical problem that is making the work take longer? Is she becoming forgetful? Does she want a raise? Prepare a new list, and discuss it with Louise. Ask her if she can handle all the items mentioned in the time allotted. It will give you a better idea of Louise's capabilities and how reasonable your demands are. If you need to find someone else, tell her, "I can see this is not working out. However, I'd like us to remain friends. Let's go out for lunch, and I'll get someone else to clean my home." Then do it.
Dear Annie: I'd like to know, what do you think of a sister-in-law who brings a calculator when the family goes out to dinner? Wauconda, Ill.
Dear Wauconda: If she's paying the bill, she may need help checking the tab and adding the gratuity. Otherwise, one can only assume she does math for fun.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@tbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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