Filling the 'God-Shaped Hole'

The ex-Youngstowner wrote the novel as a way to deal with the grief over losing a loved one.
By THERESA HEGEL
VINDICATOR STAFF WRITER
SHE WAS A HIGH SCHOOL dropout, a stalker and a film director. Now she's written her first novel.
Tiffanie DeBartolo, 31, reared in Youngstown and the daughter of Candy and Eddie DeBartolo Jr., has many stories to tell, whether fictional or factual.
The novelist, who divides her time between New York City and Boulder, Colo., explained that she dropped out of high school on a technicality. DeBartolo said she attended Villa Maria High School, a now-defunct all-girls school in Western Pennsylvania that she described as "very 'Facts of Life'" though she didn't have to live there. By the end of her junior year, DeBartolo had fulfilled all requirements but typing and gym, she said.
Since her older sister Lisa would be leaving for college the next year, DeBartolo said she didn't want to be left behind; however, her high school would not issue her a diploma, so she passed the GED and started applying to colleges.
"I was an anxious teen, and all I wanted to do was get out and explore life," said DeBartolo.
College: Her explorations began at the University of California at Berkeley, where she pursued a degree in philosophy. In an acting class at the university, she met the man who would become her husband.
Though she was dating someone at the time, she said, "As soon as he walked into the room, I fell in love with him."
After she became single, DeBartolo spent four years "stalking him." She said he finally agreed to go on a date after "I sent him a list of the top 10 reasons why he should go out with me."
"We've been together ever since," she added.
After college, DeBartolo said she moved to Los Angeles "with the intention of working in the film industry in some capacity." Not long after her arrival in the city, she said she began writing a screenplay.
The screenplay evolved into the movie "Dream for an Insomniac," which DeBartolo also directed. The film, released to theaters in 1998, featured actors Jennifer Aniston and Ione Skye.
Though she said making the film was a "fantastic experience," she became frustrated with Hollywood politics.
"Making movies is a business, and I understand that, but when the studios want the same 'winning' formats over and over, or commercial and economic success isn't your prime motivation, it's frustrating and demoralizing," she said.
She added that "on a purely creative level, that's why I began writing 'God-Shaped Hole.'"
What she prefers: With no intention of returning to directing, DeBartolo said she finds the act of writing a novel "much more liberating" than "sticking to the format of a screenplay."
"It's like walking on an open field as opposed to having to stay on a trail," she said.
DeBartolo, who has a self-proclaimed obsession with music, noted that much of the inspiration for "God-Shaped Hole" came from lyrics. She said the idea first came to her during a 10-mile run on the treadmill.
"I put on a Chris Cornell CD to keep me company, cranked it up, and was struck by a line in one of the songs. It sounded like a morbidly romantic personal ad to me," she said.
DeBartolo mentioned she first heard the phrase that became the title of her novel in a U2 song. She said that "for me, the God-Shaped Hole is that big, gaping sense of emptiness we all have, and my theory is that life is a constant search to fill that void."
She said that writing "God-Shaped Hole" was a way to deal with her grief over the death of a loved one. It was an "attempt to come to terms with the helplessness and finality of losing what is irreplaceable," she said.
What's real: When asked how much of the novel is autobiographical, she said, "All of it and none of it."
DeBartolo said she shares many of the protagonist's traits, such as her "existential angst" and her "heightened olfactory sense."
"The biggest difference between Trixie and me is that I have amazingly supportive, loving, attentive parents, and she didn't," she said.
DeBartolo, who has "always been a writer of sorts" and is now working on her second novel, said that being a writer is one of the best jobs in the world.
"There aren't too many occupations where you get paid to spend your days in an imaginary world of your own design," she said.
hegel@vindy.com